Should I or Should I not?

The summer before I started HU, I met a guy. 

At my house, we always made an excuse to celebrate. We would cook lots of food, blast music, and call people to join us. I'm not sure what we were celebrating on this particular day but he came over with one of his friends who was a family friend and lived in the neighborhood. 

He was really cool, had a good personality and had everyone laughing...my mom even mentioned that he seemed like a nice guy that day. I didn't think much of him...in fact I didn't think much of any guy because I never got over my "ex" Emmanuel, for some reason I thought he was my "first love"...isn't it interesting how your perspective changes when you get older and mature? Hmmm...thank God for Jesus.

So back to this guy...I'd see him more often in the neighborhood because he'd come visit his friend, somehow he started liking me and the toasting began. I wasn't interested at all, he was far from my type and he was a JJC (Johnny Just Come, he recently came from Nigeria). I didn't like the way he dressed or spoke, etc. 

Shortly after, I started a job not too far from his house, so he'd get up every morning and walk with me to work. I felt a bit stalked but he was nice, so I indulged him. I really can't say how or when it happened but we started a relationship. I dunno if he used jazz (voodoo)...lol, or if it was his persistence, or the fact that I felt sorry for him because he was a really nice guy, or if it was because I was lonely...it just happened. 

He was the first Nigerian guy that I dated and the first guy that I introduced to my family, so I considered him to be my first official boyfriend. My mom didn't like him at all, and she made it very obvious (Remember she thought he was nice?...until he became my boyfriend). My dad being who he is accepted him with open arms. And my siblings kindly just went with the flow. I met his family also, they were very nice to me.

Our relationship lasted for a year and eight months. I really don't know how to explain what we had...we both were young (I was 18 and he 20) and naive. When he was about to turn 21, he started requesting something from me that was way too costly...it kept me up at night...I was confused and scared. Some of my friends were on his side...I heard things like "Girrrlllll, If you want to keep your man, you better do it!" But my bible and morals said otherwise, the pressure was mounting by the day. 

Then I began to look around me and wondered if it was really that bad afterall? I mean, everyone seemed to be doing it...even the "holy church going people" and they seemed fine...what to do???

To be continued....

You're Blessed!

- Bunmi

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