Hello Everyone!
Welcome to today's blog post. I'm happy to have you here! My prayer is that you will be encouraged, inspired and over all be BLESSED by today's testimony feature. Thanks for stopping by!
I've read this testimony over and over again. One word that summarizes it all is GRACE! Leslie M. Michelle is a survivor. She grew up in a dysfunctional home, became a mother at a young age, was abused verbally and physically, went through a number of disappointments, attempted suicide a few times... but she SURVIVED!!! She overcame it all and now she wants to help others. She has a ministry called, "Singles Living with Purpose", that will be launching next month.
Read her testimony and be blessed!
My Childhood: How it all started.
My name is Leslie M. Michelle and I
was raised in Washington, DC. I am the only child of my parents. I come from what society defines as a dysfunctional family.
Some people may have one or two ‘drunks’ (alcoholics)
or drug addicts in their families; however that wasn’t the case for me. Every
other member of my family had one issue or another. My father was a drug addict
and both of my grandmothers were alcoholics. And my mother was abusive.
I was born in the middle
of this hell hole. It seemed like I was thrown down from the gods to live in
the middle of misery until my time here on Earth was up. Growing up as a child,
I didn’t know what a regular family was. But I know what type of family I
wanted. I wanted a family where I could talk to my mother about anything; while at
the same time respecting her by sharing only honorable things with her.
However, I never had the privilege of having that type of relationship with my
mother while growing up. My mother was a church-aholic;
it was her drug of choice. All she knew was GOD, and all she did was WORK. My
father was too busy in the streets. The drugs were his wife, money was his
daughter and jail was his vacation home.
My only route of
escape was when I was asleep. Words are not enough to begin to describe what I went
through as a child; no one knew what I had to survive. I felt like I was always
on guard. If I wasn’t being beaten, I was being yelled at; I was talked down
to, I was made to feel like I was nothing, like it was my fault that I was
given birth to.
My Teenage Years: A Sudden Change
Now let's fast forward
to my teen days, I was 16 and all over the place emotionally. I attended Alice Deal Junior High; this
is where my life changed forever. I became a teen mother at the age of 17. And I was told
that I had to step down from church activities and the choir. I did not fully
understand the reason why. All that ran through my mind was, “wow, this is the church where we are to
come and get help; yet I was kicked to the curb and felt ashamed.” Not to say that I was proud of being a teen
mother. I was already dealing with enough disgrace.
I felt like I let my
mother down much more than anyone else. I didn’t want the church people to
judge her parenting ability based on my choices. I’ll never forget the day when
I went to the doctor. The doctor (white female) came into the room excitedly,
saying “Congratulations, you are
pregnant!” I stared at her in shock as I thought to myself, “Lady, my mother is going to KILL me!!!”
We confirmed how far along I was. Afterwards, my mother said “Okay, let’s go. Abortion is not an option.”
I was in tears as I thought about how the pregnancy would affect my life.
I stopped for a moment
to call and inform my son’s grandmother about the news. I was scared and
confused. Her response was, “We can help
you get rid of it.” All I can remember was hanging up the phone as soon as
possible. I kept thinking to myself, “No!
I can’t take a life.” In reality, I was more afraid about what I was taught
in church. I was told that if I committed murder, I would burn in hell. So I
sucked it up and dealt with the looks, snickering, gossiping, and the shame.
My son was born on April
14, 2001. It was during the spring break of my junior year. I went right back
to school a week after his birth. I was determined to stay on track with my
education regardless of the bad decisions and choices that I made. I believed that education was my only way out of the life that I was born into. This time
around, it was not only about me but I had a son to take care of.
I wanted him to be
raised in a safe environment. One that was healthier than the one I brought him
into. I remember having a breaking point; I just wanted to graduate on
time. I recall that day; I went to the third floor of my school’s building. I
went to the far left side of the building and entered the girl’s bathroom. I
dropped to the floor without considering how filthy it was. I remember crying
and sobbing uncontrollably. I grabbed my clothes attempting to pull off everything that was bad in my life. I wanted to die. I pleaded with God for the first time in my life;
I cried out and said “Help me please God!
Please God help me! I'm lost, I need you. If you get me through this Lord, I
will not be here again”. It was like an outer-body experience, I can’t say
exactly what happened after that. All that I know is that I graduated from
high school on time. I walked across the stage proudly with my son in my arms as my classmates gave me a standing ovation.
My Young Adult Years: A Roller Coaster Ride
I didn't go straight to
college after high school; I lost the opportunity to attend my dream school
Florida State. I wanted to go to the law program, to study to become a business
corporate Attorney (my dream job). However, I had to stay home (where my
support team was located) and work until I figured out how I was going to raise
a baby. I also had some growing up to do myself.
During my twenties I
made more mistakes, mainly because I lacked self-control. I dated males as a way of escape from the
tainted, abusive, controlling and insecure person that I was at the time. I was
so lost, at one point, I dyed my hair ORANGE!...lol what! I was gone.
One particular situation
comes to mind. I had finally mustered up the courage to end the toxic
relationship that I had with my son’s dad. I had been looking for a way out for
a long time. I needed to do it when I would ensure that I’d be alive and my son
would be safe, in a place where his dad could not get to him. One this day in
particular, it seemed like my life was going from bad to worse. I was off from work and my son’s father showed
up out of nowhere, looking for me. My boss informed him that I was not working
that day. My son’s father suddenly became enraged (he has anger issues) and
started going through the entire store looking for me. He was ready to harm me.
I got a call from my job stating what had transpired. My boss (who had become
like a big brother to me), encouraged me to go to safe place where my son’s
father couldn’t find me until things cooled down. I didn't encounter him that day but similar instances happened over time. Thankfully, I never returned to that relationship; I had more sense this time around.
I maintained several
good jobs until I decided to attend a trade school located in Alexandria, VA in
2004. I studied paralegal legal assisting. While
in school, I gained my hustle back. I worked 3 part time jobs and while
attending classes. I was determined to be stable and raise my son well. I
wanted to have my own place to call home and get a better paying job. Thankfully,
I was able move into my first
apartment in 2005, located in Silver Spring, MD (thought i was making it, lol).
I was on the subsidy housing program (fancy way to say Section 8) It said to be a
good area to live in, not much drama from what I could see. However, drama from
my son’s dad continued throughout the years. I sucked it all up because I
wanted to make sure that my son had a relationship with his father.
In the middle of all the
chaos, I managed to develop a real relationship. It started from a friendship; it
was the first time I let a man into my space, a place where I let my guards
down. I thought that I was safe but not so much. I wasn’t mature enough to
communicate effectively; I hadn’t completely healed from the past. I was more
action and less talk, I was insecure and angry. The relationship which was once
pure became tainted.
In 2007, I began to draw
closer to God. By this time, I became re-rooted in church. I was trying to get
right with God; I wanted out of the dysfunctional connections that I was
entangled in. I ended the relationship because it was filled with too much negative
energy and activities. I remember saying to him, “I'm leaving now because I don’t want to hate you and I don’t know what
God has in store for the future”. It seemed like I started to learn when to
let go of toxic relationships…well I
thought I did.
I decided to take 3
years off from dating or being in a serious relationship. I was hurting deep down
inside. I needed to heal from the past. In 2010, I heard a sermon entitled “Stepping out of your comfort zone in
relationships”. Obviously I was in no shape to be in a relationship at that
time, but I assumed I was. I allowed myself to entertain a relationship that
almost took the LIFE out of me literally. From day one until the end of the
relationship, it was hell on earth. I assumed that it was time to step out of
my comfort zone; however what I really needed was to seek God like never before.
This relationship was
with someone at church. I was blinded by the reality that not all bad
guys are in the streets; some of them dress up and attend church or hold
positions in the church too. Disclaimer: I
am not saying that church is bad; it is a few people that corrupt the church. I
always stress the importance of having a personal relationship with God. In
doing so, you won’t be bothered when some people in church resemble the people
in the streets. You’ll be focused on the head of your life, who is God and not
man!
I entered this
relationship during one of the most vulnerable stages of my life. During the
course of the relationship, I was abused in ways I never thought was possible.
I never thought that it could happen to me! I continued the relationship in
denial for 4 years. I was disappointed; I wondered how the church would allow
these actions to go without addressing them! I felt so alone; no one from the
church came to my aid. People usually gave their opinion about what was going
on but no one followed through to ensure that I healed completely. It seemed
liked his actions were acceptable in the church, no one reprimanded him. I was
completely blown away.
Thankfully, my brother (a close friend) got involved. He made great attempts to
get justice for what had happened to me. But it was all hushed and thrown out. To
make it all worst, I was criticized for pressing charges. I was judged for
going through with it and making sure that it never happened again to me. The
abuse was no secret, it happened in the presence of other people and my
daughter (I had a second child during this time). This entire issue plunged me
into a downward spiral of depression; I attempted suicide three times. I
figured if church people were worse than those on the streets and were
threatening to take my life, I’d do them a favor and do it myself.
The Last Straw
I fought hard to get
through this phase of my life. I sought out two different types of therapists;
I wanted to have more than one view on the issues in my life. I wanted to be
mentally whole, I wanted to get over what I suffered as a child, I wanted to be
free from family curses and I wanted to find a reason to LIVE and not kill
myself!
Going through this phase
tested me on all levels. It revealed how much of a Godly woman I was as opposed
to who I thought I was or hoped to become. In the process of getting free
(healing from an abusive relationship is a process), I started to catch a
glimpse of something that would change my spiritual life forever. I was being
pushed, more liked dragged into my
calling. I started to analyze friendships and separated myself from bad
influences.
I had to realize that if
I wanted to live fully for God, I had to cut some people off. Not that I’m
perfect, but I was done with the SHOW that the church I attended and the church
people kept putting on. I wanted my life to match what I shouted, danced, sang,
and taught about. I wanted to truly serve God and his Will. I wanted to be like
Jesus 100%.
I was chosen to serve as
the head of the Singles’ Ministry in 2011. And I laughed at God, I thought to myself,
“God you're tripping!” I just had another child, I was not married,
my business had been aired in two churches, I was dealing with jails, police,
messy people, etc. And now you placed ME
over a Ministry??? And not just any ministry, but the SINGLE’S Ministry? I told
God that he was sadly mistaken. I was still trying to find myself, I was still
participating in sexual activities and I had no intention of stopping until I
was satisfied. I remember telling God that I wanted out of the mess that I was living prior to be appointed. Well the thing about telling God you want out..lol don't forget to tell him how you want out; because he will
give you what you ask for, so be DETAILED!
I started to take
leadership very seriously. I was responsible for the souls of people and
because of this, I feared God. I still made mistakes, but I pressed harder than
ever before; I was determined to be accountable. However, life still had
another curve ball awaiting me. It was a test of my faith. I was finally doing
what the church people wanted me to do, my life became more stable and I
eliminated the drama that once surrounded my life. I now looked like a reformed
church girl! Pah, yea right! I
was 2 years into serving in the Single’s Ministry and we were doing great! I
planned a “MEET and GREET” event in the early part of January 2013. I was
excited to be able to pull on the souls of Christian singles and help them by
what I overcame. The event went well. People were excited to see what was in store for the
ministry.
Unfortunately, that
first event would be the last event held at this church. At that time, I didn't
fully understand God’s plan for my life. I was frustrated; I finally got it
together, it felt like I could finally breathe and be free right?! Well NOT so fast! There was one last thing
that I needed to be free from and that was the real deliverance of PEOPLE.
On this particular
Sunday, I was in church all day (from about 8am till 4pm), we had an evening
service that day. I loved my church, I was a ride or die member! On this day, I
was called into the Bishop’s office. I didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. I was in good standing
with the leadership at the time; I wondered what the meeting could be about. Long story short it was the most devastating two hours of my life! This
last SET-UP was definitely the DEVIL’S work and I stand on that! During the
meeting, I was called everything but a child of God; harsh words were said to
me. I was amazed and I couldn’t fathom how these so called leaders could
participate in something this. I left that meeting dejected. I called out to
God and reminded him that he promised me that he had my back this time. I told
him that I was not letting go until I saw the fulfillment of this promise. To
be frank, I was broken to the core. I held these PEOPLE in places in my heart
that were sacred.
I left the church, with
no regrets. Afterwards, I went into an emotional coma. I was done with church, not with GOD but with the church. I
spent three months in my room under the covers, crying myself to sleep. I couldn’t
understand why this was happening now. It took me a while to get it all out of
my system. But I did! I fought for the promise that God made to me!
A Fresh Start
Eventually, I started to
attend another church. I decided that I was not going to serve at this church
whatsoever. All I wanted was to hear the Word, secure a solid foundation for my
children and move on with my life! I was doing well, I slowly but surely started
to cut off all the dead weight from the old church. I made up my mind that if I
left them there, I wasn’t going to bring them into the new. They were still
behaving the same! So I let them all go one by one, and I had no regrets. There
is a season for everything under the heavens and their time was UP!
I was determined to have
a real understanding of my relationship with God. I wanted to grow in his
light, by his laws and be full of his love. Life still threw a few pebbles my
way, but as I regained my power they became stepping stones to the path God
paved for me; instead of stones that hindered me and caused me pain. For the Lord will make your enemies your
footstool and lawd did he ever!
Now, today where the
light is definitely in view; my past has been burned. And the reality of the
promise is in sight (that was
churchy..lol). I am ready! I am healed mentally, emotionally, and I am much
stronger spiritually than ever. I knew I was ready to serve again. I never had
intentions on launching a ministry. I remember telling God i wanted to be used
to the fullness of his glory. I told him that I was willing to go wherever he
led me, no questions asked. Lord, I am your servant forever!
I did not have an
epiphany nor did I have “big God moment”.
I was just sitting at a leadership conference in November 2015, when suddenly I
heard God say NOW! I responded by
saying, “Yes, I'll praise you now!” And I did!..lol. During that session, the voice of the Lord was so loud. The word NOW, was then an invitation to praise God; it was a call to service. I had to step out of the session; I
thought that it was my phone. I had to go into the restroom and wet my face a
bit, I was stunned! Here I was, after finally getting out of the crazy maze
that the people wanted me to die in! Like God stop it! I was good with just
teaching from the sidelines, and serving on the low...pah!
As soon as I got home, visions
about the ministry came rushing to me. And I knew it was time to serve in my
full capacity. God allowed me to overcome such great pain, and I knew that he
would never lead me in the wrong direction, so I put all my eggs in his hand
and today I am here ready to launch the Singles
Living with Purpose Ministry.
I look forward to
serving all singles in my full capacity. I will work to get you to your full
purpose along with ensure that the promises of God manifest in your life. My
aim is to teach the importance of remaining celibate until your wedding night. I
ensure you that in this ministry you will be pushed into the fullness of your
purpose along with empowering you to develop healthy relationships with others.
I want to impact the singles of today and show them that without God you can do
nothing to fulfill your purpose!
I am ready to serve you!
Follow Leslie on Instagram: @lesliemmichelle
Facebook: Lesilemichelle Johnson
Periscope: @Leslie8432
Email: lesliemmichelle@gmail.com
Website: www.lesliemmichelle.com
I hope that you were blessed by that testimony, thanks for reading! If you'd like to share your testimony, send an email to destinationdestiny7@gmail.com.
You're blessed!
- Bunmi
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