I Should Have Known Better

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Today, I will be continuing my personal testimony. To be update, please click on the Destiny Steps tab at the top of this page.

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After his visit to Ife, I tried to give "us" another try. It was like pulling teeth, very painful and discouraging. I can't say that things between us really improved. Communication was still limited and uneventful. A few weeks after his visit, I decided to visit Lagos for a few days. I informed Raymond and he said that we'd hang out.

On the day that we were supposed to hang out, I had plans to have dinner with a friend. He picked me up and we headed to Jevinik's (a Nigerian restaurant). I was having a great time, the conversation was cool and the food was extremely good. And then Mr. Raymond starts blowing up my phone. Asking where I was and when I'd be home. 

He interrupted our dinner with numerous text messages and calls; he was trying to figure out how we'd meet up. At one point he suggested that I take a cab to where he was. My friend was not having that; he said that he was not comfortable with me taking a cab at that time of the night. You'd think Raymond would be that considerate...yea right! After going back for some time, he agreed to pick me up from home. So my friend dropped me back at home.

He came to pick me up late. It was dark but this was the norm when we hung out. He asked me to bring extra clothes because he wanted us to spend the night together so that we could "talk". I really don't know why I agreed. I guess it was because I desperately wanted the so-called relationship to work.

When he arrived he told me that we were going to a house party that his coworker invited him to. As soon as we arrived there, I felt uncomfortable. There was something "off" about the place. Raymond located his coworker and he invited us to sit with him. A variety alcoholic beverages flooded the table, I sat down reluctantly. His friend asked if we wanted to eat and offered fresh grilled fish and fries; we took the offer and waited while it was being prepared.

The party was being held in someone's compound (backyard). There was a live band performing and some young ladies decided to give everyone a show. About three of them danced seductively to the live band's tunes. They knew that all eyes were on them and they were enjoying the attention. I was irritated as Raymond, his co-worker, and other men at the table; as they sipped their drinks and grinned in approval of the show. At one point, his co-worker turned to me and said, "I hope Raymond doesn't hurt you tonight." At first, I had no idea what he was referring to. I turned to Raymond as his eyes were getting dimmer by the second and he smirked at his friend. I felt bad, I felt cheap! What did his friend think this was? I was ready to go!

We stayed there for about an hour or two; I didn't keep track of time because I had tuned out after his co-worker's statement. After leaving his co-worker wanted to hang out and have drinks at a hotel. By this time they were both tipsy. When Raymond excused himself to go to the restroom; me and his co-worker spoke. I was surprised that he was a married man. I secretly didn't like him because I felt like he was a bad influence on Raymond. When his side chick arrived on the scene, I was done! 

After a few minutes we parted ways with Raymond's co-worker and mistress. Raymond told me that this was the hotel that we'd be staying the night. By this time, he was borderline drunk. He eyes were extremely low and he was smiling for no reason. When we got to the lobby, he asked for my debit card. Apparently he didn't have any money; I was livid. At this point, I was more annoyed with myself than anything else. I knew better and I deserved better, why was I subjecting myself this nonsense?

After the room was paid for, we entered. I went into the bathroom to change and get ready to sleep; I was beyond exhausted. He stepped out without mentioning where he was going. When he returned, I smelled cigarette smoke; he went to smoke a cigarette. I laid down and laid down beside me. He asked if he could hold me and before I knew it, he was touching me all over. He wanted to have sex. I don't know why I was surprised initially; what exactly did I expect. I ran to the bathroom and cried. 

After crying for a few minutes, I returned and he was asleep. I hardly slept, as I laid there thinking about my life. I was wondering how I walked myself into this mess and if there was a way out. I looked at him as he slept and wondered if I could wake up to him every morning. It was a pretty sight, nothing to look forward to.

He woke up very early the next morning and was very frigidity; he kept saying that we had to go. I guess the "talk" wasn't going to happen after all. I gathered my belongings and he dropped me off at home. When I got home, I continued crying as I complained to my cousin. I told her that I had to break up with him, she kept telling me to give a chance. She didn't get it.

I left Lagos to go back to Ife a day or two after that. As I journeyed back, I was distraught. However, I remembered that the church that I attended was fasting and praying for a month; so I decided to take it all up to God in prayer over the next 30 days.

To be continued...


You're blessed!


- Bunmi


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