Our Spontaneous Honeymoon

Source: Goggle

Hello everyone!

Thank you so much for visiting this space today.

I am so happy to be alive today after going through and surviving Hurricane Harvey. The last few days have been unexplainable. I will share my experience in a detailed blog post soon.

Today, I will continue my personal testimony on life after my wedding day. In my last post, I shared my wedding day experience. Overall, it was a beautiful day however I allowed myself to be distracted by the things that didn't go according to plan. At the end of the day the most important thing is that I was joined in holy matrimony with God's special gift to me.

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As we drove out of the reception venue, I sighed a sigh of relief. Finally 'it' was over. I was exhausted and famished. We were told that we couldn't eat while in the reception hall; I guess for the sake of pictures or whatever. So we were stuck with drinks and snacks; thankfully I had breakfast that morning.

As our driver continued on the rode, he turned to ask us where we were headed. Imagine my astonishment when I turned to my husband and he didn't have a definite answer. He was responsible for planning the honeymoon...big mistake! Prior to our wedding day, I kept asking if the honeymoon plans were set and he would answer in the affirmative. It didn't take me long to realize that planning such things was not one of his strengths. I was too tired to be upset, I just wanted to eat and sleep.

To top it off, I wasn't comfortable; the driver had a passenger in the front seat that we didn't see earlier. Thankfully, my brother in law brought it to our attention and questioned him before we left the reception venue. However, I still wasn't comfortable with this random stranger.

My husband told the limo driver and his friend to drop us off at the Sheraton hotel after spotting it from a distance. "Good choice" I thought to myself. After unloading our things from the car, we said farewell to the limo driver and the random stranger, would suddenly became friendly when we reached our destination. Of course, his sudden change in attitude was in anticipation of the tip he was expecting. My husband paid his dues and they went their way.

As soon as we walked into the lobby of the hotel, all eyes were on us. From the way we were dressed, It was clear that we were celebrating something. After we told the large crowd that we just got married, congratulatory shouts filled the air from people of various nationalities. In that moment, I felt good. I forgot all about the 'old' and embraced the 'new'....yes!!!! I was really married!!!

My husband proceeded to the reception desk to get our room situated as I sat holding my heavy wedding dress in my lap. The hotel staff proceeded to offer us drinks while we waited. It felt good, I felt like a celebrity; the thought, "I can get used to this"  crossed my mind. We finally got a room and it was beautiful. It felt like I was in another country, the hotel facilities were top notch.

The first thing that I did after dropping our belongings, was grab the food that was packed for us. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that the food was cold and their was no microwave in our room; I don't do cold food. Thankfully the hotel management sent us a complementary tray of fruits and some more drinks to celebrate our newly wed status; so that was my dinner.

The telephone in our room rang and my husband was told to come to the reception desk. Although he paid some of the bill already, he was told to put the remaining balance down before we called it a night. When I saw the bill, all the relief that initially felt disappeared; the room was 48 thousand naira (about $250) per night; which was definitely above our budget. We had to start counting our monetary gifts from the wedding, thankfully we had enough for one night.

Needless to say, I couldn't be bothered about anything any longer. I proceeded to take a shower to relieve the stress. And like they say, the rest is history!

You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


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Who's in your inner circle?

Source: Google

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend's character" Proverbs 27:17 (ISV) 

There is a common saying that goes "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"; I concur. Towards the end of last year, I was doing some reevaluation; because I wasn't content with the amount of progress that I had made in certain areas of my life. I was determined to make 2017 a HIT, a year to go down as one of my best!

After much prayer and meditation, I realized that I had to reconsider my inner cycle. I can count on one hand how many people I consider to be a friend. I was never one to flourish amongst a "clique" or "squad". So I kept my circle small intentionally. It pained me to have to reconsider certain relationships, I thought that I had figure this friendship thing out; I was proud to proclaim "no new friends". But I was absolutely mistaken!

When I began to sift my inner circle, I realized that some of my friend's bad habits were rubbing off on me. It was very subtle, but it was happening. I noticed that when I spoke to a particular friend, our conversations mostly involved gossip. Although I wasn't an active participate, I enabled her because I was always willing to listen. If someone talks to you about others, they will talk about you to others; I found this out the hard way. And this is when it hit me.

"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."  1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

Although I did not find myself gossiping, I realized that my mindset about certain things began to change in a bad way. Your character is an offshoot of your mindset. So I had to protect my character and take a few steps back and setup boundaries.

I spoke to my mentor about what has transpired and she informed me to deal with the issue wisely. I wasn't supposed to cut her off completely; instead I had to transform our relationship from a horizontal one into a vertical one. It is often said that people come into our lives for reasons and seasons and we ought to recognize this in order to maximize these relationships.

Horizontal relationships are relationships in which each party is on the same level and can influence each other accordingly. Vertical relationships are relationships in which one party is on another level, as compared to the other party, and is in the position to positively influence that party (according to Bunmi's dictionary).

Your inner circle should be filled with horizontal relationships. It is only iron that can sharpen iron, wood cannot sharpen iron (in the words of my spiritual father). 

I have a particular vision for my life, as everyone should. And I want friends that can see this vision also; friends that will encourage me, pray for and with me, challenge me and correct me. So I had to rearrange my inner circle, because I wanted to make progress. The process wasn't easy but it was necessary.

What about you?

"YOU CAN NEVER GROW BEYOND YOUR INNER CIRCLE" 

-Bunmi Adebiyi

You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

Never Be Afraid To Be Alone

Look unto Abraham your father, and unto Sarah that bare you: for I called him alone, and blessed him, and increased him. Isaiah 51:2 KJV

A few weeks ago I went back to my old stomping grounds to attend a friend's wedding. On the hour long drive from the airport to my sister's apartment (my host for the weekend), I drove by places that brought back various memories. From downtown DC where I often frequented during my college days at Howard University (The REAL HU), to the different neighborhoods that I lived and played in during my time in Maryland, to the beautiful Arlington, Virginia where I lived and attended physical therapy school briefly.

While I had some good feelings as I navigated my way through each state, deep down inside I had confirmation that I no longer belonged there. You see when God told me to relocate to Nigeria, one of the reasons why I was disheartened was because I loved the DMV. It was where I 'matured'; I had found God there, I discovered purpose there, I had developed life long relationships there, I had found 'love' and lost it there. The DMV had become an integral part of my life and I couldn't imagine myself living and raising my family elsewhere.

Most of all, the thought of relocating to Nigeria plagued me with the overwhelming fear of being alone. My immediate family and friends were all in the U.S.; and I wasn't the type to make new friends easily. I later came to realize that I had to be alone for a season, because of where God was taking me to. If I stayed in the U.S. I wouldn't be where I am today.

You see if I stayed in that same environment and around the same people, my growth would have been stunted; because I had found my comfort zone. I was doing 'good' according to my books. But God had more in store for me and I had to be alone to see it and enter into it.

During my visit to the DMV, I also realized that I couldn't relate to some people like I used to. Imagine, these people were part of the reason why I never wanted to leave. Words can't explain why, but we are on different levels now; like scripture says, "deep calleth unto deep". I no longer 'fitted in'  and it was okay. Don't get me wrong, I in no shape or form feel that I am better than anyone; I am only in competition with myself. But we just couldn't connect like we used to.

The above scripture kept ringing in my heart after I left the DMV. God reminded me that his Will is perfect and he knows what is best for me. He told me that he called me out of my comfort zone to bless me. And I can confidently day that the Lord has surely been good to me. Just like he was good to Abraham and blessed him beyond measure when he left his father's house to a land that God eventually showed him.

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When it was time to relocate to the U.S. after being in Nigeria for a few years, I secretly wished that I could move back to the DMV. After all we were coming to start up a church and I already had 'connections', so it would be a piece of cake. But when I and my husband prayed, we heard 'Houston'. God sure has the best sense of humor! I was born in Houston but I was raised in New York. My dad tried desperately to get us to move to Houston during my teenage years, but my mom, siblings and I were not having it. I remember saying, "I'll never live in Houston"; I have sure learned to "never say never".

Here I was in Houston, alone again and having to start from scratch with forming relationships, discovering new places and things, jump starting my career, etc. Sometimes the 'aloneness' got to me and I felt like an Israelite, I'd question God in my head, asking why didn't he just leave us in Nigeria where we had become comfortable to an extent; I had reached my comfort zone there. But I should have known better, I should have observed how God has dealt with me in the past and just relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

You see at certain seasons of your life being alone is needed; it is necessary for you to gain access to another level, another blessing or a greater manifestation of the blessing of God in your life. Don't despise your alone seasons, it is a time of grooming and purning, a time of perfecting and maturing, a time of refining and restoring. At times you'd have to walk away from people, places, things, opportunities, careers, etc but never be afraid. The truth is you're never alone because God is always with you!

You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

Wedding Day: Not Easily Broken

Source: Google

Hello!

Welcome back to all my faithful readers!

And a special welcome to all those who are new here. Welcome to Destination Destiny...A space where I share my life and testimonies.

Today I am continuing my testimony on how I met my husband and our journey to 'I DO'. To play catch up, please read precious posts by clicking the 'How I Met My Husband' label to the right of this post.

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In my last post I spoke about my challenges with adjusting to my new role as a Pastor and a Pastor's wife. While that was going on, another role was on the horizon. A role that I've prayed for over and over and over again. It was finally happening!!! I was about to become someone's WIFE!!! Now that it was finally happening, I assumed that it would be smooth sailing onward...however, there were a few more hurdles to overcome.

Unfortunately, the excitement that I always envisioned would accompany this moment was minimal. Planning my wedding was so stressful! I thought that I could brave the storm and plan it by myself, but alas I surrendered about three months to my wedding day. I was exhausted and overwhelmed from arguing with my parents about what I wanted at MY wedding!!! It was also very difficult planning a wedding in another city with our hectic schedules. I was on the verge of eloping and forgetting about the ceremonies...I couldn't be bothered.

I am the first born of my family AKA the guinea pig for new endeavors. So everyone had to chip in their two cents...from my wedding colors, to the food, venues, MC, DJ, live band, etc. Everyone had a "better" option than me. In their eyes, I was a little brat that wanted to have things her way. I later discovered that a typical Nigerian wedding isn't primarily about the couple but their parents and other overbearing family members.

I got tired of fighting and crying so I decided to reach out to a wedding planner. Thank God for her, she was my life saver. I can't quite remember how we met, I believe my husband reached out to her; she is a member of our church. She took over and did an amazing job for a small fee. God took control and we kept experiencing favor left-right-and-center. We basically did not pay full price for anything. People would randomly send us money to help out towards the wedding also, God amazed us!

But the devil was not happy with our impending union; he was really on a mission. And he attacked areas that mattered most to me.

At a time there was tension between my husband's family and my family. It really got to me because I always prayed for peace between both families. The tension extend beyond the wedding day and it wasn't pretty (thankfully it is all history now! yay!)

A month before our wedding, our pastors were involved in a house fire. They were still recovering during our wedding time. Hence, they couldn't marry us (officiate the wedding ceremony). I was devastated. I used to always daydream about them marrying us and how much of an honor it would be. They mean a lot to me and it hurt me that they couldn't be there.

To add fuel to the fire, I found out about a week before my wedding that my dad would not be able to make it. That day, I had just come back from getting some grilled fish from one of my favorite fast food restaurants (TFC). My mom called me to the living room, she and my sisters sat before me looking sober, I should have known that something was up.

When my mom gave me the news, I literally ran out of the room and started crying. I ran to my grandma's room while yelling my brother's name. I told my mom that the wedding was cancelled while she responded "God forbid!" Needless to say, I lost my appetite and cried myself to sleep. For the next few days, I barely uttered a word. And I wore sunglasses to conceal my tears when I was out of the house. I was inconsolable.

How could I get married without my dad being there?!?! I am a daddy's girl at heart; my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was painful to know that my dad was alive but wouldn't be able to witness the wedding of his first child. He wouldn't be there to walk me down the aisle, to tell me how beautiful I looked, to pray for me...nope, there was no father and daughter dance neither. I was devastated and angry at the world.

The days leading to my wedding were beyond stressful; things seemed to go from bad to worse. Family members deserted us (my mom, siblings and I) and we had to take taxis everywhere to sort out the finishing touches. Vendors were stalking us for their payments, we didn't have a house to move into after the wedding (God should up a few days before the wedding and we found a place!), there were no honeymoon plans, this list goes on.

Our traditional wedding was on a Thursday, two days before the white wedding. It didn't pass without its own fair share of drama. But, hey at least we got through it.

******

The day had finally arrived, the unhappy feelings still lingered but I made up my mind to put the devil to shame. I chose to dance and smile like everything was perfect. God took all the glory, it was a beautiful day. Our guests enjoyed themselves and it was an extravagant wedding...much bigger than I wanted...A dream come true for my parents.

And of course the devil wasn't finished...There were a few glitches here and there...from my wedding planner calling me the morning of to tell me that the decorations wouldn't work for the reception venue to my mom's friend calling me to ask if her friends could get VIP tables since they were "high class" folks to the zipper of my dress being broken...It took forever to 'fix'... to being told that the limo that we paid for was not working that morning... we were given a small unappealing alternative instead... to running late for the wedding ceremony and getting a call from my uncle with him yelling at the top of his lungs that everyone was waiting for me... to praying fervently that tailor who made my husband and the groomsmen's suits would make the necessary adjustments before the wedding ceremony started...to almost having to find a replacement because the best man didn't show up until a couple of hours before the wedding...to my friends not being able to sing during my wedding ceremony because I forgot to inform the pastor in charge... to not being able to have the song that I wrote for my husband performed because the musician had to leave ... to one of our photographers leaving in the middle of the reception because he got irritated...hmmmm

Needless to say, the whole day was a blur. I really couldn't wait for it to be over. But after it was all said and done, I married the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh...some people call it their soul mate...I call him the man God kept for me...God's special gift to me!

And that's all that mattered!

Our union is divine, it was much more than the ceremony. Our union is for a purpose so when things seemed to be falling a part around us, the most important thing was that we were joined together as husband and wife before God and well wishers. The devil couldn't stop that, we got the last laugh!

And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 AMP

To be continued...


You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt