Who's in your inner circle?

Source: Google

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend's character" Proverbs 27:17 (ISV) 

There is a common saying that goes "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are"; I concur. Towards the end of last year, I was doing some reevaluation; because I wasn't content with the amount of progress that I had made in certain areas of my life. I was determined to make 2017 a HIT, a year to go down as one of my best!

After much prayer and meditation, I realized that I had to reconsider my inner cycle. I can count on one hand how many people I consider to be a friend. I was never one to flourish amongst a "clique" or "squad". So I kept my circle small intentionally. It pained me to have to reconsider certain relationships, I thought that I had figure this friendship thing out; I was proud to proclaim "no new friends". But I was absolutely mistaken!

When I began to sift my inner circle, I realized that some of my friend's bad habits were rubbing off on me. It was very subtle, but it was happening. I noticed that when I spoke to a particular friend, our conversations mostly involved gossip. Although I wasn't an active participate, I enabled her because I was always willing to listen. If someone talks to you about others, they will talk about you to others; I found this out the hard way. And this is when it hit me.

"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."  1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

Although I did not find myself gossiping, I realized that my mindset about certain things began to change in a bad way. Your character is an offshoot of your mindset. So I had to protect my character and take a few steps back and setup boundaries.

I spoke to my mentor about what has transpired and she informed me to deal with the issue wisely. I wasn't supposed to cut her off completely; instead I had to transform our relationship from a horizontal one into a vertical one. It is often said that people come into our lives for reasons and seasons and we ought to recognize this in order to maximize these relationships.

Horizontal relationships are relationships in which each party is on the same level and can influence each other accordingly. Vertical relationships are relationships in which one party is on another level, as compared to the other party, and is in the position to positively influence that party (according to Bunmi's dictionary).

Your inner circle should be filled with horizontal relationships. It is only iron that can sharpen iron, wood cannot sharpen iron (in the words of my spiritual father). 

I have a particular vision for my life, as everyone should. And I want friends that can see this vision also; friends that will encourage me, pray for and with me, challenge me and correct me. So I had to rearrange my inner circle, because I wanted to make progress. The process wasn't easy but it was necessary.

What about you?

"YOU CAN NEVER GROW BEYOND YOUR INNER CIRCLE" 

-Bunmi Adebiyi

You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

Wedding Day: Not Easily Broken

Source: Google

Hello!

Welcome back to all my faithful readers!

And a special welcome to all those who are new here. Welcome to Destination Destiny...A space where I share my life and testimonies.

Today I am continuing my testimony on how I met my husband and our journey to 'I DO'. To play catch up, please read precious posts by clicking the 'How I Met My Husband' label to the right of this post.

********
In my last post I spoke about my challenges with adjusting to my new role as a Pastor and a Pastor's wife. While that was going on, another role was on the horizon. A role that I've prayed for over and over and over again. It was finally happening!!! I was about to become someone's WIFE!!! Now that it was finally happening, I assumed that it would be smooth sailing onward...however, there were a few more hurdles to overcome.

Unfortunately, the excitement that I always envisioned would accompany this moment was minimal. Planning my wedding was so stressful! I thought that I could brave the storm and plan it by myself, but alas I surrendered about three months to my wedding day. I was exhausted and overwhelmed from arguing with my parents about what I wanted at MY wedding!!! It was also very difficult planning a wedding in another city with our hectic schedules. I was on the verge of eloping and forgetting about the ceremonies...I couldn't be bothered.

I am the first born of my family AKA the guinea pig for new endeavors. So everyone had to chip in their two cents...from my wedding colors, to the food, venues, MC, DJ, live band, etc. Everyone had a "better" option than me. In their eyes, I was a little brat that wanted to have things her way. I later discovered that a typical Nigerian wedding isn't primarily about the couple but their parents and other overbearing family members.

I got tired of fighting and crying so I decided to reach out to a wedding planner. Thank God for her, she was my life saver. I can't quite remember how we met, I believe my husband reached out to her; she is a member of our church. She took over and did an amazing job for a small fee. God took control and we kept experiencing favor left-right-and-center. We basically did not pay full price for anything. People would randomly send us money to help out towards the wedding also, God amazed us!

But the devil was not happy with our impending union; he was really on a mission. And he attacked areas that mattered most to me.

At a time there was tension between my husband's family and my family. It really got to me because I always prayed for peace between both families. The tension extend beyond the wedding day and it wasn't pretty (thankfully it is all history now! yay!)

A month before our wedding, our pastors were involved in a house fire. They were still recovering during our wedding time. Hence, they couldn't marry us (officiate the wedding ceremony). I was devastated. I used to always daydream about them marrying us and how much of an honor it would be. They mean a lot to me and it hurt me that they couldn't be there.

To add fuel to the fire, I found out about a week before my wedding that my dad would not be able to make it. That day, I had just come back from getting some grilled fish from one of my favorite fast food restaurants (TFC). My mom called me to the living room, she and my sisters sat before me looking sober, I should have known that something was up.

When my mom gave me the news, I literally ran out of the room and started crying. I ran to my grandma's room while yelling my brother's name. I told my mom that the wedding was cancelled while she responded "God forbid!" Needless to say, I lost my appetite and cried myself to sleep. For the next few days, I barely uttered a word. And I wore sunglasses to conceal my tears when I was out of the house. I was inconsolable.

How could I get married without my dad being there?!?! I am a daddy's girl at heart; my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was painful to know that my dad was alive but wouldn't be able to witness the wedding of his first child. He wouldn't be there to walk me down the aisle, to tell me how beautiful I looked, to pray for me...nope, there was no father and daughter dance neither. I was devastated and angry at the world.

The days leading to my wedding were beyond stressful; things seemed to go from bad to worse. Family members deserted us (my mom, siblings and I) and we had to take taxis everywhere to sort out the finishing touches. Vendors were stalking us for their payments, we didn't have a house to move into after the wedding (God should up a few days before the wedding and we found a place!), there were no honeymoon plans, this list goes on.

Our traditional wedding was on a Thursday, two days before the white wedding. It didn't pass without its own fair share of drama. But, hey at least we got through it.

******

The day had finally arrived, the unhappy feelings still lingered but I made up my mind to put the devil to shame. I chose to dance and smile like everything was perfect. God took all the glory, it was a beautiful day. Our guests enjoyed themselves and it was an extravagant wedding...much bigger than I wanted...A dream come true for my parents.

And of course the devil wasn't finished...There were a few glitches here and there...from my wedding planner calling me the morning of to tell me that the decorations wouldn't work for the reception venue to my mom's friend calling me to ask if her friends could get VIP tables since they were "high class" folks to the zipper of my dress being broken...It took forever to 'fix'... to being told that the limo that we paid for was not working that morning... we were given a small unappealing alternative instead... to running late for the wedding ceremony and getting a call from my uncle with him yelling at the top of his lungs that everyone was waiting for me... to praying fervently that tailor who made my husband and the groomsmen's suits would make the necessary adjustments before the wedding ceremony started...to almost having to find a replacement because the best man didn't show up until a couple of hours before the wedding...to my friends not being able to sing during my wedding ceremony because I forgot to inform the pastor in charge... to not being able to have the song that I wrote for my husband performed because the musician had to leave ... to one of our photographers leaving in the middle of the reception because he got irritated...hmmmm

Needless to say, the whole day was a blur. I really couldn't wait for it to be over. But after it was all said and done, I married the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh...some people call it their soul mate...I call him the man God kept for me...God's special gift to me!

And that's all that mattered!

Our union is divine, it was much more than the ceremony. Our union is for a purpose so when things seemed to be falling a part around us, the most important thing was that we were joined together as husband and wife before God and well wishers. The devil couldn't stop that, we got the last laugh!

And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 AMP

To be continued...


You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

Didn't God Prepare You For This?

Source: Google

Hello everyone,

It has been a long while and I've sincerely missed this space.
So much has been happening since I lasted posted. But through it all, God has been
good to my family and I!

One of the latest blessings that God has bestowed upon us, is a beautiful baby girl. One Word that describes the process from pregnancy to delivery is GRACE! I will share her story on this blog in the near future.

So I am officially a mother of two! Whoa, it still feels like a dream at times....that is until my precious newborn wakes me up in the middle of the night for yet another feeding or cuddling session...then I know that it is absolutely not a dream but it is REAL!!! *smiles*

*****
In my last post I continued my testimony on my journey to marriage/ministry, I will continue in this post.

Stay tuned!

You can read precious posts by clicking the 'How I Met My Husband' label.
*****

Adjusting from being a church member who was still trying to learn the "ropes" to becoming a pastor in such a short amount of time was an interesting experience to say the least. I was also in the process of transitioning from fiance to wife at the same time and planning a big wedding; mind you our courtship was also short (we got married within six months of meeting each other). So there was so much going on at the same time, I was good at juggling it all on some days; however on other days, I was overwhelmed and TIRED!!! Playing so many roles and wearing so many hats at once was intense...In fact, it was beyond intense!

I remember feeling so exhausted and overwhelmed one day after traveling back to Ife from Akure. I turned to one of the young ladies that used to come along and assist us and said, "I am tired!" Her response was epic, she said "Didn't God prepare you for this?" I was rendered speechless, I just nodded and kept it moving. But those words haunted me, it arrested me. I just couldn't complain, indeed God has been preparing me for 'this' for years...I just didn't know what 'this' was going to be.

As I've stated previously on this blog, I naturally do not like the spotlight; I prefer to be behind the scenes. However becoming a pastor left me with no option. I found myself having to speak in front people, counsel people, visit people, preach to people, etc. And of course, I stuck out like a sore thumb. My accent always gave me away, add my dressing and entire 'look' to the equation...and it didn't take long for anyone to realize that I wasn't from Akure.

Here I was, having to adjust to a new environment and set of people. I thought that Ife was 'bad' however Akure was more 'rural' than Ife. I struggled with the thoughts of fitting in or being accepted, but I knew that God sent us to Akure so I sucked it up and kept on going.

I had to ignore the numerous looks... ranging from annoyance to amazement when I picked up the microphone to speak. Some people may have thought I was 'faking it' while others were excited to hear someone speak 'American English'. I never focused on anyone in particular with the fear of being tempted to analyze and determine the purpose behind their stares. I often focused on an object at the rear of the sanctuary and did what I had to do. My primary task that involved speaking in the beginning was to make announcements; I later found myself leading prayer meetings and before long, I was preaching my first message!

****

One thing that I discovered early was that being a pastor coupled with being a pastor's wife could be very lonely. Prior to becoming engaged, I had a few friends and a number of associates. However those relationships began to dwindle when I found it difficult to make time to nurture them.

I was very lonely! The congregation members and our assistants looked up to us so much. I slowly saw my playful and more social side diminishing. I had to be 'prim and proper ', all eyes were on me...people were looking up to me as a spiritual role model among other things. And the pressure was intense.

It was tough, I felt like I couldn't be myself. I had fought for so long to be comfortable in my own skin. Here I was, feeling that being 'myself' wasn't acceptable for this new role. I felt like I was being scrutinized left-right-and-center...I even had to watch the way I related to my fiance. I remember one day while at church, I was seating next to him and I leaned over to clean something off of his face. He drew back at the speed of light; I was beyond embarrassed. He later explained that he did not want church members getting the wrong impression since we weren't married yet. I didn't get it but I obliged him... all 'for the sake of the ministry'.


So I had to ask myself: Was I Really Prepared For This???


To be continued...


You are blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

When God Commands It

Source: Google

Hello everyone!

Long time no see!

Today I continue my testimony on how I met my husband.

If you have not done so already, you can click on the 'How I met my husband' label to the right and see previous posts.

****

Everything was falling in place. Both of our families were excited, my friends were excited, our church family was excited. And above all, I had peace. I really didn't know what the details of what the future held for the both of us but I knew that I was in God's Will. It was an amazing feeling, this was something that I never experienced before. While, it was an answer to my prayers; it was all new to me. I had days where I was tempted to afraid because it felt too good to be true; I never knew that God was match maker until he brought me to my husband. At the end of the day, I chose to hold on to God's Word and rest.

Our relationship was blossoming, we were pretty much inseparable. Wherever you saw me, he was not too far away. He insisted that I stop taking the bus and okada (commercial motorbike- used as public transportation), so he always went out of his way to pick me up for work, church, etc. It was cool but I loved my independence, at times I felt smothered and just wanted a break. I kinda missed my old routines; hanging with friends, eating at the local restaurants, buying fruit at the junction (corner) from my favorite food lady, and lastly enjoying some alone time (I enjoy my own company till date!). However, those things began to dwindle and it affected some of my friendships. I tired to explain it to him, but he didn't seem to understand. I mean, I can't blame him; it was all new to him as well and he was excited. Before meeting me, he was in a long distance relationship that lasted for five years; he was not used to having his significant other in close range. Well, I got over it eventually. I just accepted it as something that came with the new territory.

In no time, wedding plans were being made. We originally wanted to get married later on that year (2013), but as we prayed about it God instructed us to choose an earlier date. He spoke to our hearts and said that he had something for us to do together. We both were concerned about choosing an earlier date for various reasons. We felt it was too soon, we just met and were still getting to know one another. We were both serving (doing NYSC) and we didn't have much funds. Our parents were also a bit hesitant because they wanted more time to plan, save money, etc.

But we were sure about what God said and we stood our ground. Our parents eventually agreed and after a little going back and front, we agreed on a date...July 27, 2013. The plans were in motion...I had to decide on a wedding dress, choose wedding colors, traditional attire, etc. We were also having a tradition wedding on the 25th, so we were basically planning two weddings at the same time. Overwhelmed is an understatement of how we felt. It was the first wedding in my family and my family came off as overbearing, wanting to control everything. I desired an intimate wedding but with my family, I knew that it was absolutely impossible. So I accepted my fate but not without a fight!

At one point things began to get overwhelming stressful. Some members of my family on both my father's and mother's side were not in support of our wedding. There major complaint was that the wedding was too soon. Another complaint was that he may have been trying to use me since I was from a America; they felt that he wanted to use me as his ticket to "greener pastures." Some family members vowed to not show up to the wedding. Others proudly said that they were not in support of the wedding and would not contribute in any way.

My mom started to worry and it came to a point that she had to call my pastor and confirm that I was marrying a good guy. My pastor confirmed it and she was rest assured; even though some family members were telling her that she was making a huge mistake.

Around that time, it was God's Word that kept us going. We chose a day to pray and fast about our wedding and marriage. And we chose to believe and trust God for resources. At a point, God gave us a word, he said that people that we least expected would contribute to our wedding. That was good news! I also remembered something that helped me to keep holding on when my pastor shared a testimony about her wedding. She stated that she declared a few scriptures when there was some opposition about the wedding. One of them was, Lamentations 3:37 (King James Version)Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not?. I held on to the scripture and confessed it, sooner than later the voices of those that were opposed to the wedding began to fizzle out. And God showed up in amazing ways. We got discounts for our venues, catering, etc. People that we least expected were also giving us money out of the blue. We were amazed!

*****

While all that was going on, our pastors asked for us to come to see them one day at their home. They pulled my then fiance aside and told him that a new branch of our church was starting in Akure. Akure is a city located in Ondo State, which is about 2 hours away from Ife. I already saw it coming; one day while the rest of the pastors were in a meeting deliberating on who would go to Akure to start the new branch, my husband walked in and said, "Pastor, I wanted to tell you that I am going to Akure." He actually meant to say that we were going to Lagos, to run errands for our wedding. Everybody who was in the room was surprised because he had no idea what they were talking about before he entered. Some may say it was a coincidence, but I knew that it wasn't.

From that day on I kept telling him that he would be the "chosen one". He didn't want to accept it. He wasn't a fan of Akure, he grew up there and he had some reservations about it all. He loved Ife, he'd been there for about 8 years at this point; he was working in Ife and had major ministry responsibilities in Ife so he didn't see it. Well, lo and behold I was right! So our pastors told him to take some time to pray about it and get back to them.

The drive back home was quiet to say the least. But God was up to something!

To be continued...

You are blessed!

- Bunmi

Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_

6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

This Was Meant to Be

Source: Google

From that moment on, the good news began to spread rapidly. The news was met with a number of reactions from various people.  I was welcomed with open arms by his fellow colleagues at church. It felt good, although a part of me felt a little shy... I never subscribed to being the center of attention. Apparently the attention came with my new “title”; along with other responsibilities.  

The good thing was that after the news broke, I was finally able to speak with my mentor. We met up at a church celebration and she told me to meet her in her car. She was overjoyed and asked me how I knew that he was my husband. I shared the number of instances that led to my discovery. She also stated that she had a revelation about us being a couple on the first day she met me. It was surreal; I was amazed at how everything played out. Who would have thought that this was one of the reasons why God sent me to Nigeria?  As I’d come to find out, it was a major piece of the puzzle.

As expected, a few church members were not feeling the idea of a flashy dressing-makeup wearing-stranger from America being in a relationship with their dearly beloved pastor. Boy did I hear some things: “How can she come from nowhere and get engaged to him? She hasn’t been in church for long enough!”; “How can she marry him? I saw wearing a backless dress one day (which was absolutely false). I’m pretty sure that much more was said; because some of the looks that I got spoke volumes.

I let it get to me a bit; I started to feel self-conscious and started reconsidering my wardrobe among other things. I wanted to look, talk and act like “a pastor’s wife”. However, I was able to snap out of it before it got too far. My sweetheart encouraged me, he told me that I was perfect just the way I was. He told me that my flashy dressing/make-up wearing ways reminded him of his mom and sister; he had absolutely no issues with it.

At this time, I also remembered a word that God gave me when I first arrived in Ife. After surveying the environment, I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I always got attention, everyone knew that I wasn’t from there…they knew that I wasn’t from Nigeria. I didn’t even have to utter a word; forget it when I actually spoke….all heads turned and all eyes were on me. I didn’t like it one bit and I contemplated ways in which I could fit in. But God spoke these words to my heart one day “You are light, light cannot be hidden.” So I made up my mind to be unapologetic about being myself.

Shortly after, I was officially introduced to the stewards (volunteers) of the church. Boy was I embarrassed/shy/nervous! I wasn’t even hinted to the announcement prior to it being done. I was just told to wait behind the service to see one of the pastors. Before, I knew it I was on the spotlight. My mentor informed them that I was engaged to one of the pastors and asked me when they wedding was on the spot. Wedding date??? I smiled to hide my shock and quickly said June. June!!! That was 5 months away, what was I thinking???

Shortly afterwards, I met some members of his family. His parents stopped over in a town close by on their way to a wedding. We met up with them there and eventually went to the wedding also. His sister was also in Ife for some time; she came for a school program. I got to know her a bit, she was amazing. I loved his family from the first day that I met them. They were all sweet; they welcomed me with open arms. I felt loved and accepted.

Things were looking good…everything was falling into place…this was meant to be…  

To be continued...

          

You are blessed!

- Bunmi

Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_

6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

When You Know, You Know!

Hello all!

Welcome to the blog today!!!

Thank you so much for the response on the last post! Please keep the comments coming, they are encouraging!!!

I was all smiles while writing this post. I hope that you will be all smiles as you read it as well! Above all, I pray that you will be blessed!

If you haven't done so already, click the 'Destiny steps' tab at the top to see previous posts in which I share my personal testimony thus far. For those viewing this on a mobile phone, you'd need to scroll down to the bottom of this page and click "View web version" in order to see and click on the ‘Destiny steps’ tab.

I’ve always heard the statement “When you know, you know”. This statement is often made in reference to the person you’ll marry. I actually was skeptical about this statement, until it happened to me.

***

Source: Google

Things started to move very fast…things moved at an alarming but good speed. I call it God’s speed!

So, I finally decided to surrender and go with the flow. I wasn't going to fight God's Will any longer. From experience, I have come to discover that he always knows best and his plans are perfect.

I finally found the courage to tell me my close friends and family about this new discovery. One of these close friends knew him from a distance; she was a church member and she had nothing but great things to say about him. My other friends and family were surprisingly encouraging also. They were all excited. My dad shouted “I told you!” My siblings were routing for someone they did not know. Hmm… I guess they also couldn't wait for me to move on from the last failed relationship.

I started to get excited about the idea of being in relationship with him after such an amazing response from my love ones. So, I decided to trust God and open up my heart a bit. As soon as I made that decision, things started to move along well with surprises along the way.

We started to develop a friendship. We would talk on the phone, send each other text messages and hang out. He would surprise me with ice cream and food out of the blue...one of the keys to my heart (hehe). Whenever I was at church, he would offer to give me a ride home. After arriving at my house we could sit in the car and talk for hours.

I liked him; he was easy going and his joy was contagious. I really enjoyed his company. He was very caring and simple. He was spiritual; he had a personal relationship with God that was undeniable...this was a big deal for me. He also made me feel very comfortable around him; I was able to let down my guards without fear.

We had a lot of things in common. We both had careers in the health field, we both attended the same type of church while growing up, we both had three siblings and the list goes on.

One day I woke up and I knew that it was going to be a good day. I had no idea why, but I was excited. The Holy Spirit even told me to get my hair done. So I called up my stylist and set up an appointment. He called me earlier to say that he wanted to pick me up after work; so I made sure that I looked good (wink).

The work day went well; and passed by fast. For some reason, I couldn't wait to see him. The excitement that I felt was undeniable. When he picked me up, he told me that he liked my hair (yay! He noticed!). He then tells me that he wanted us to go and have lunch. Of course I was happy...being a lover of good food!

We arrived at the location; it was one of the nicest hotels in Ile Ife. I was impressed, he had good taste. I knew that it was a good place because, when my mom came to visit, it was the hotel we stayed at.

He proceeded to open the car door for me and then the door to the hotel’s restaurant. I was elated. Hmm...a gentleman (another plus!). After being seated we both discussed how our days went. We then ordered our meals and drinks; the chit chat continued. Our meals arrived shortly after and everything was delicious.

As we were rounding up our meals, he said that he had something to tell me. The words that proceeded out of his mouth shocked me. He told that he'd fallen in love with me over the short time that we've know each other. He told me that he saw a future with me and wanted me to be his wife.

I was caught off guard. I knew that it would happen, but I didn't expect it so soon. I felt overwhelmed and elated at the same time. I was officially on cloud 9. I sat speechless with a wide smile on my face.

He paid for our meals and we proceeded to leave. We had to attend a church service that evening. During our drive to my place, he told me that he knew that I'd probably need some time to give him an answer. But he was certain that I was God's best for him.

Before I could think twice, I said 'YES'. I surprised him and myself. It was too late to take it back; what had been said had been said. I was a little embarrassed. Wasn't I supposed to make him wait? It shouldn't have been so easy (hehe)! Plus I never got a chance to discuss everything with mentor. Also growing up in the Western culture, a proposal isn't real without an engagement ring. I wondered what I got myself into. But I sucked it up and decided to enjoy the moment… when you know...you know!

I went from single to being in a relationship in a manner of minutes; with someone that I had only been friends with for a little over a week. This wasn't normal. How could I agree to be his wife so fast? I barely knew him!

No matter how much I questioned my decision, I knew it was the right one. I couldn't fight the peace that I had. I couldn't fight how sure I was.

This was beyond me...I threw up my hands and allowed Jesus to take the wheel. This was something that I couldn't have thought of on my own; it was beyond my wildest daydreams. It was finally happening! And it was happening God’s way!

To be continued...


You're blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


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My Little Secret

Source: Google

Hello everyone!

Can you believe it is October already??? Wow! Happy OCTOBER to you! My prayer is that God will crown 2016 with GOODNESS for YOU!!!

I took a very long break from sharing my testimony. My apologies, let's continue from where we left off.

If you haven't done so already, click the 'Destiny steps' tab at the top to see previous posts in which I share my personal testimony thus far. For those viewing this on a mobile phone, you'd need to scroll down to the bottom of this page and click "View web version" in order to see and click on the ‘Destiny steps’ tab.

So I finally had confirmation about this man being my husband. I was absolutely sure this time around, without a shadow of a doubt. I tried to invite doubt, but my invitation was rejected. I could not shake the certainty that I felt. This was an unfamiliar feeling to me. I had mixed feelings. You'd think that I'd be ecstatic, but I wasn't. Above many other things, I was afraid.

I was afraid of the unknown. I was afraid about being wrong again. I was afraid about having to tell family and friends. I was afraid of having to start all over. I was afraid of making mistakes and getting heart broken. I was afraid that he wouldn't accept me and my past. I was afraid that I wouldn't be a good pastor's wife. I was afraid of never having a "life" because of the demands of ministry.

His friendliness continued, but there was no suspicious behavior. Apparently, that was his person...he was always happy and smiling. Soon enough, it seemed like he was running away from me. Like I'd see him one second and then he'd speed off the next second. Hmmm...Maybe I was wrong after all.

I was so uncertain about everything. God revealed that he was my husband in October and it was now November. I just broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. Didn't I need time to heal? It went against everything I believed about relationships and breakups. Okay, granted I knew a long time ago that I was in the wrong relationship. And for some reason, I couldn't even be sad or depressed about the breakup. I tried to cry but the tears never came. In the past, I would have been a wreck for weeks. I just had this unshakable peace; I knew that I had made the right decision.

I tried desperately to reach out to my new mentor during this period of uncertainty. But for some reason, our schedules kept clashing. So, I found myself alone in my confusion. I was too afraid to confide in anyone else; I didn't want to be judged.

****

I had finally neared the end of foundation school and it was time for me to take the last two courses with the Pastor in charge. So I set up a date and time with 'Him'. When I got to our meeting place, which was church he seemed to be very busy. He had me waiting for a long time.

Surprisingly while waiting for him, my mentor passed by and as I was greeting her he walked back into the church auditorium. She was on her way out so our greeting was short. However there was a look on her face that lingered on after that day. There was something in her smile.

When it was finally time for our class, he seemed to be very excited. He was smiling for ear to ear. I came straight from work and was a bit hungry, so I wanted to get it over with. During the class, two other pastors passed by and were smiling extra hard. I just knew it! They all knew! He had told them, I was slightly embarrassed, the secret was out!...or so I thought. I later came to find out that they had no idea.

It was a few minutes before our church’s weekly prayer meeting when the class ended. I wanted to dash home but he encouraged me to stay. It was my first time attending the prayer meeting. It actually wasn't too bad. Afterwards, he dropped me off at home. To be sincere, I don't remember the drive home. All that was on my mind was food and sleep!

To be continued...

You're blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi


7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt

Please God, Love People

Something happened a few days ago that rubbed me the wrong way.

It reminded me of a similar incident that took place a few months ago. I did all I can to make someone comfortable and happy. I later found out that she went behind my back to complain about my efforts. I was beyond hurt and disappointed. She later apologized but it took me way too long to get over it. It put me in a terrible state; I harbored unforgiveness and bitterness against her for a long while. That is a big NO! NO! It affected my relationship with her and I regretted it. So I knew better not to allow history to repeat itself.

Now onto what happened the recent incident...

A few weeks ago, someone reached out to me and shared some disheartening news with me. She is someone dear to me, someone that I've shared personal information with. Someone I truly care about. Instantly, I was shocked and at a loss for words. I was sad and felt helpless. I desperately wished that I could turn back the hands of time. But at last, it was beyond me.

I tried my best to encourage the person. I asked how they were feeling...of course, she wasn't feeling good. I just wanted to probe where her mind was at and help as much as I could.

I offered to give a listening ear if she ever needed to talk or vent about the situation. And also added a little prayer. I ended by saying I loved her and would be praying for her.

I didn't get a response, so I decided to give her some space. I reached out a few days afterwards...no response...I tried again a few days after that...still no response.

I've been praying for her daily since then and decided to reach out to her via another mean because I was very concerned; and because I found a resource that might be helpful to her.

I was excited to finally get a response via the other means of communication. However, after opening the message and reading it, I was crushed. It felt like a ton of bricks were thrown in my face. I was told that the previous messages were not responded to intentionally. Imagine my shock! At the end of the day, she was not happy with my response to the bad news.

I apologized, but I could tell that my apology wasn't enough.

After contemplating the issue over and over again, I heard these words in my spirit "Please God, and Love people. Only God can see your heart." Well I didn't want to hear it to be honest. I go above and beyond to be there for people. There is no problem that is shared with me that I do not do all that I can to do in my power to help, including going before the Lord in prayer about until it is resolved.

As a pastor, people come to me with their issues. At times, I have to sacrifice time, energy, resources, etc. to be there for people. It is an honor; I don't take it for granted. The late nights spent counseling people, the early mornings and other odd hours spent praying for others, sacrificing family time...it is a privilege. Wanting to feel appreciated and be to be praised is natural. But I know much better than to live for the praises of people. I choose to cater to an audience of ONE, my one and only father in heaven. 

But my husband hit the nail on the head when I confided in him "Do it for God, not for people." I still wasn't satisfied. My heart was still hurting. Then I remembered a blog post that I read yesterday by Funto Ibuoye on the Beautified Blog. She spoke about intimacy with Holy Spirit. She mentioned a scenario in which she was looking to her husband for affirmation but didn't get it. So she decided to look to the Holy Spirit instead. I followed suit and prayed for help to get over the incident. And after a short while, I felt at peace and made a conscious effort to get over it.

.

To be sincere, if I had my way I'd live in my own world, on a private island far away from people. Naturally, I'm a loner...an introvert.  I've been hurt by so many people in the past, and I can get very defensive with my heart subconsciously.

But I've learned that relationships are vital and that I can't allow the past hurts to affect me. Relationships are bridges that can either take you to your destination or derail you.  Relationships are necessary. In relationships, you get what you give.  I've come to love people truly and discovered that everyone is unique; we have to learn how to love each person the way they need to be loved.

My pastor told me these words a few months ago. He said "Some people were created to live for others." I instantly discovered that I was one of those people.  Love puts other's before one's self. So I do all that I can to make sure that I impact lives and bless people. So my advice to you is to aim to be a blessing to people, not please them.

I've discovered that one of the keys to living a successful life is to live above one's feelings. Purpose is greater than pain. I cannot allow my feelings to get in the way of fulfilling my purpose. Feelings are temporary, they are fleeting, and they are conditional. Feelings can cripple, feelings can blind, and feelings can bind.

But I choose to be free. Love sets free. Love always wins. I choose to please God because he's the only one that knows the true me. I work for him, I live for him, and I am alive because of him. I owe him my all.

So, instead of being offended and hurt. I've made up my mind to love her and continue to pray for her. She's hurting, what she's going through is painful; it is something that you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy. Obviously she confided in me because she desired some sort of comfort. I still feel terrible for not being able to provide this comfort; but I refuse to beat myself up. It is only the Holy Spirit that and give true comfort, he is the ultimate comforter.

Even if she decides to never talk to me again and continues to push me away, I will still love her. I will love her from a distance. My prayers will reach her and that's the most important thing. I want her to be whole and at peace, so I'm willing to get out of my feelings and live above them. There are more important things to focus on.

***

I write this blog post today because I want everyone to know, that it is possible to be in control of one's feelings. I don't need sympathy or a pat on the back. I am a work in progress and I need God's help every second, minute, hour, day, month, year, and so on. So I pride myself on yield to the Holy Spirit and allowing him to mold me and shape me daily. I will fall, I will make mistakes, I will miss it along the way...but still I rise! still I shine! Because Christ is me, glory is inevitable! 

Offenses will always come...but you don't have to take them! So be prepared, people will hurt you, they will disappoint you, lie to you, talk behind your back, cheat you, steal from you, etc. But make up your mind before it occurs to not allow those things to get the best of you. Forgive in advance and protect your heart.

In past, I was ruled by my feelings. It was a terrible way of living. I died daily because of what people said to me, thought about me and did against me. I was overwhelmed with being a people pleaser. I just wanted everyone to like. It was daunting and unsuccessful.

When you get busy with building your relationship with God and with what he has created you to do, people will automatically be attracted to you. You cannot please everyone, but you can love everyone. You can only please God, so focus on doing just that!




You're blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!


3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_


6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi


7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestiny_mlmt