Monday, August 13, 2018

A Tough Pill to Swallow

Source: Goggle





Hello there! Nice of you to stop by today!!!

Can you do me a big favor? Can you like, comment on and share this post? Please and thank you!

In today's post, I talk about a tough decision that I had to make after getting an interesting instruction from God. My pastor always says, "There's one battle that you should never win and that's choosing your Will over God's Will." In this season of my life, those words served as a guide. I had to forgo my desire to be independent for total dependence on God!

Read the more about it below:

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Moving into that house was the perfect birthday gift to me. I was amazed by God and overwhelmed by how he sorted us out. What an awesome God! About two weeks into moving in we were celebrating my birthday in grand style; I was on cloud nine! A couple of months prior was our wedding anniversary; we were low on cash so we couldn't do much to celebrate. We ended up at Popeyes (a fast food restaurant). It was a humbling experience, I initially was tempted to be sad but I didn't allow myself to go down that path. So there we sat and eating our fried chicken, biscuits and fries. God was still good; we still had a reason to celebrate.

Now here we were barely two months later and we were able to afford celebrating my birthday at a Brazilian steakhouse. God provided for us; he multiplied what we had and he granted me the desire of my heart. It was a milestone birthday for me and l wanted to celebrate! And celebrate I did!

After settling into our home, I started thinking about starting work again. I loved staying home with my daughter and being able to cook different types of meal, etc. But I was ready to interact with other adults, make friends and jump start my career; so I started applying for jobs more aggressively. When I would apply for jobs; I would feel unsettled and I had no idea why. The application purpose was also tedious and stressful. After submitting tons of applications, I would get frustrated because I never got any call backs or invitations for interviews. At one point I felt like my degree was irrelevant; many of the jobs I applied for, I was overqualified for. I had become desperate and started to settle.

After a few months, I eventually was invited for an interview with an internationally recognized organization; I was ecstatic! The first step was a video interview. I did all my research and ensured that I was ready. I was also able to put my daughter to sleep during that time, so it worked out perfectly. After the initial interview, I was invited for an in person interview with a panel. Prior to then, I had to get people to provide references for me; that was a process in itself as I was given a short amount of time; and it had to be done via their online database. It felt like I had to chase a couple people around and send frequent reminders but thankfully they came through in time.

Before the in person interview, I went shopping for interview appropriate attire and accessories. Everything seemed to be working out well as my husband was off from work on the day of the interview; so he was able to watch our daughter and drive me to the location. I informed my pastors and asked for them to pray along with me for favor. I was determined to come back with that job! The interview went very well; I could see myself working in that office. After a few weeks, I got some not so good news...I didn't get the job; I was crushed. I replied the interviewer's email thanking her and asking for feedback from the interview. She replied by stating that I interviewed very well but they decided to go with someone that had more experience.

I was discouraged for some time; I was used to being independent; I had my first job at the age of 16. I wanted to be able to contribute to our family financially; I was tired of not being able to buy certain things that I wanted. I started to pray and ask God what was going on; I felt like I was stuck in one place- I wanted to start my career and I wanted my daughter to start daycare so that she could socialize with children her age, etc. One day my pastor called me and told me that he had a word from the Lord for me. He said, "Do you think that you haven't gotten a job because there's no job out there for you?"; “God wants to use you in this season to begin to intercede for the ministry and other things that he'll lay on your heart.”

Those words hit me hard but they resonated within me. I didn't want to accept it but deep down within I knew it was true. So I decided to obey and retire from job hunting. It was hard; I didn't even know how long I'd have to do this new assignment. My pastor just told me that it'll be in two phases and after the first phase, I'll get a job. I couldn't explain to my parents, siblings and friends what was going on. When they asked about job hunting, I would just ask them to keep me in their prayers. So there I was every day, spending a specific amount of hours in prayer. I would pray for the church that we'd pastor in Houston, for the nation, for souls, for people, etc. It wasn't always easy but I made an effort to do my best with the help of the Holy Spirit and I was accountable to my pastor.

I was now on God's payroll; I was employed by him and about his business. I had to learn that God was my source and depended on him for everything. I couldn't afford to focus on what was available or not enough; I needed to use my faith for even the minutest things. My husband did his best; he was absolutely supportive during this time. Even though he disliked his job, he was committed to ensuring that we were well taken care of. He went above and beyond and encouraged me throughout the process. The assignment lasted for about a year...I never expected that! And when it was complete, God hinted to me that it was time for me to get a job. And the way God did it was a testimony!

With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

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Monday, August 06, 2018

God Still Does Miracles


Source: Google



Hello! Welcome!! Welcome!!!

Thanks for stopping by! If you've been enjoying my blog posts, kindly do me a favor and like, share, comment!!! 

Enjoy today's post below:


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My husband's first job was a far cry from what he used to; practicing as a medical doctor in Nigeria...then having to work an 'odd' job in America wasn't exactly part of his/our America dream. But we learned how to celebrate small victories no matter how minute they seemed. Some income was far better than no income; we were one step closer to independence.

We were eventually able to purchase a car; my husband decided to purchase it from an auction, however I had some reservations. We got a good deal...or so we thought. You know what they say when something appears to be "too good to be true"; we later found out that the car's transmission was bad. The owner of the car was supposed to inform us but obviously he didn't. Our hopes were dashed; we had spent the remainder of our savings on that car. We asked for estimates and we were told that it'll cost more than we paid for it to fix it; we couldn't afford it. So we managed the car that couldn't go faster than 50 miles an hour until we couldn't drive it anymore. Some days I would be so upset with my husband; if only he'd listen to me...with time I got over it; and decided to focus on better things.

After some time, my dad's childhood friend gave us his vehicle to use for a few weeks. Oh Lord… it was an old white minivan without an AC. Not having an AC in Houston during the summer is a tragedy. I also hated minivans with a passion; my father owned a number of them while growing up and I vowed to never own one when I had a family....go figure! I'd be so embarrassed while driving the car; every time that we went to places where we knew people (i.e. church); I'd try to avoid people or stall until they were out of sight before proceeding into the car. I would feel especially sorry for our baby because of the heat; but once again an old ugly minivan given to us as no cost was better than no car.

My aunt was so lovely; once my husband started getting paid we offered to help out with the bills on numerous occasions but she'd turn the money down; she’d say that we were her children and that she couldn’t take money from us. We tried our best to our part, we would contribute to some groceries and I did most of the cooking and cleaning. We began looking for our own place shortly after my husband started work; with his income at the time, our options were very limited and not appealing. The places that we could afford at the time were in low income and unsafe communities. The first real estate agent that I contacted told us that with a budget of $1000-$1200 a month, it'll be impossible for us to find something decent. We found another agent and the places that she showed us were horrible.

One day, I woke up frustrated; I had enough at that point. I remembered that I prayed and made confessions before relocating to the U.S. I knew that God heard me and I refused to settle. I took some time out to pour out my heart to God and I was specific. I remembered always thinking to myself that I didn't want to raise my children in an apartment. I grew in an apartment and stayed in various apartments after I left home for college. I wanted space...I wanted to be an owner...I wanted more and during my time in Nigeria, I was taught about faith and that it wasn't a crime to desire good things.

God sure does answer prayers!

..... The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God--it is dynamic and can have tremendous power]. JAMES 5:16 AMP
Prior to that day, my dad told me that he would speak to someone that he knew in Houston. He was also a relator; before then my dad had not spoken to him in years. I didn't think much of It because all the relators that I've spoken to prior to then didn't have any good news. Later on that day, my dad called me and informed me that the realtor might have a place for us; I was told to call him a.s.a.p. My husband was still at work so I was hesitant to call without discussing it with him. But I decided to go ahead. Lo and behold, this realtor actually had great news!!!

He started by asking me a few questions, such as whether or not we had an income and how much our budget was. I forgot to mention that my husband had gone for an interview for a higher paying job a few days to this. The day before the interview, our car started acting funny and when he tried to switch to my aunt's car; the tire went flat and it seemed almost impossible to simply replace the tire even with my cousin's help. I was already discouraging him from going; he didn't want to go neither but he got a referral from my aunt's friend and he didn't want to seem ungrateful. The location for the interview was about an hour away and I was so nervous about him driving alone. After it was all said and done, he was off and I stayed home praying for a miracle.

So when I informed the realtor about the possibility of my husband's new job, he felt more comfortable since it was a job with the state and his wife retired from the same position a few months prior. He proceeded to tell me about the house that he just put on the market a few minutes before my dad called him. He said that the owner of the house worked with the federal government and was called suddenly for a job assignment outside of the country and he needed wanted to rent his house while he was away. The house was a two story house, four bedrooms with two and a half bathrooms and it was fully furnished!!! He stated that after he placed the ad online, he had been getting calls for left, right and center. Some people were even offering to pay more or pay the rent in advance instead of on a monthly basis.

He asked if I was interested and I told him yes! He then asked when we wanted to see it; I honestly didn't care to see it...the deal was unbelievable. I informed the realtor that my husband wouldn't be back from work until the evening; he went ahead and set an appointment up for us to meet with the owner that evening. The excitement of the news knocked the tiredness out of my husband's body. When we arrived at the house, we were overwhelmed. It was beautiful; it had flat screen TVs, high quality furniture (some were brand new), etc. I had so much peace about the home.

When we got there, we met another lady...She wanted to rent the house also, she offered to. Pay us off but we declined. After speaking to the owner, he said he felt comfortable with us staying there; his only request was for us to take good care of the house. We drove home rejoicing and in awe of God, the fact that we didn't have any A.C. no longer phased us. Over the next couple of days, we had to fill out paperwork, and pay some fees: the security deposit and the first month's rent.

My husband was offered the new position during that time as well. He was scheduled to start a paid training shortly after. To top it off, he connected with a childhood friend during a church conference some weeks prior; his friend had been asking him to come see him at his office but something always came up. Eventually they met up and his friend told him that God laid it on his heart to give us a sum of money....look at God!!! When it was all said and done, we were able to pay the fees a few days to our move in date. It felt like a dream that I didn't want to wake up from! After five months in Houston, we finally had a place to call our own. It was a house! Not an apartment....just like I prayed for! It was actually much then I prayed for!
 ....and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn (excavated) cisterns (wells) which you did not dig out, and vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are full and satisfied,  DEUTERONOMY 6:11 AMP

The realtor was shocked; he kept saying “Wow! You guys must have been praying…your parents must have been praying…other people must have been praying; look at how your dad called me  just when I put the house up…this can only be GOD!”


When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them.  The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. (Psalm 126:1-3 KJV)

IT IN FACT WAS GOD! GOD GOT ALL THE GLORY!!!

To be continued…



With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

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Thursday, July 26, 2018

A New Dawn

Source: Google


Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by today.

Do me a huge favor, if you've ever been blessed by my post; kindly leave a comment, like the post and share!!!

Now on to today's post....ENJOY!

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Days turned into nights and multiple nights became frustrating weeks. The wait was long and hard and tiring. Have you ever felt like God has forgotten you? Well, that's how it felt...even though we knew it was far from the truth. At one point, I thought "God why did you bring us here? We were comfortable in Akure."  Go figure...I was sounding like a modern day Israelite! I knew better but I was allowing my current situation to dictate my thoughts and I had to snap out of it. If anything, I had to be strong for my daughter.

Before our relocation, I had spent months praying and confessing God's Word. By faith, I  had already received our fully furnished house, brand new cars, great jobs, awesome church members and the list goes on. Plus I was an American citizen with a master's degree, I was certain that everything would fall into place in no time. i never expected the wilderness experience or the silent season; no I didn't expect my faith to be tested. After all we came to America willingly and obediently via God's instruction. We came for the sake of purpose and we knew that God would take care of us; but we weren't prepared for the lessons that we had to learn in the process.

We tried to make the best of it; going to the grocery store, the donut shop and church when we had access to a car were the highlights our days. Despite the circumstances that surrounded us, we were not hopeless and we were beyond grateful to be together as a family. God had been too good to us; so our aim was the major of the goodness of God and minor on our situation.

One day, my husband woke up and said that he was going to go get a job. I was astonished but I didn't dare try to stop him; the determination in his eyes kept my mouth closed. I went ahead to encourage him and secretly prayed that his efforts wouldn't be in vain. When he told me that he was taking the bus, I was worried because the last time he tried that it took him three hours to find his way home from a place that was just 15 minutes away from home.

I called him a few times to check on him and he kept reassuring me that he was okay; and I went about my day. My uncle told him about a agency that could assist him with to temporary job placement; so he set out on a quest to locate their office. Unfortunately when he finally arrived at the location, he was told that only did placements for administrative/office jobs; and with him being a foreign trained medical doctor, there wasn't much that they could do for him. He left that place discouraged, not knowing that God had other plans.

As he was walking back to the bus stop, he passed by a gate where he saw people gathering. He made eye contact with a man as he was directing people to a door; he said to my husband "You're looking for a job right?" My husband was surprised but quickly answered in the affirmative. The man then directed him inside a room where representatives of the company were conducting interviews on the spot. He sat waiting for his turn not knowing what the job description was. When it got to his turn, he was asked some questions; the interviewer liked his responses and hired him right then and there! She proceeded to ask for his application and other documentation, it was then that she realized that he never applied. She asked him how he got into the room and he told her that someone outside of the gate led him in. She was shocked but it was too late, he was already hired!

He left home determined and came home with a testimony. It didn't go the way he planned but it went the way God intended it to...talk about prepared places and God's favor! Indeed be never forgets his own; he always with us...even in the midst of hard times. Those times aren't designed to crush us; they're designed to build us up and establish us. From that day forth we began to see the light that was always within the tunnel; God began to open doors for us in astonishing ways.

To be continued...

With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

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Tuesday, July 17, 2018

On the Verge of Weary

Source: Goggle

Hello!

If this is your first time here, you’re welcome! And for those of you continuously return to read my posts, thank you! Welcome back!

Enjoy!

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Before I left Nigeria, my husband and I both took some time to pray about where God would have us settle when we arrived in America; we both knew that there was geography in destiny- we had to be at the right place at the right time. After taking time out to pray individually, we both heard 'Houston' and we came to a consensus. I personally wanted to return to Maryland, I felt like starting a ministry there would be "easier" since I had friends that would probably be willing to help out, etc. Plus, I had falling in love with the state, so many memories were birthed there. But atlas, God was leading us to a city where I once said I couldn't never live!

 A city where I was born and lived until my family relocated to N.Y.. A city that was just good enough for summer vacations; my siblings and I would visit our cousins almost every other summer...it was cool for short-term stay but we fought our dad relentlessly (my mom being the ring leader) when he pleaded with us time and time again to move back to Houston. "Its too hot there"; "Its too slow paced"; "The Houston accent sounds funny"; "We don't like the type of music they listen to"; We have more varieties of food here." ....The list was endless, eventually he gave up the pleading and we stayed in NY.

However, I had gotten to a point where I knew better. So I accepted the destination without much struggling. If God brought me too Nigeria and turned my life around; I could only imagine what he was set to go for, with and through us in Houston! Plus one of my closets friends and cousin lived in Houston, so I wouldn't be lonely. We arrived back to N.Y. after our ministration in MD and we had to make a decision. One day my mom beckoned me to her room and asked what our plans were. She encourage me to leave NY as soon as possible so that we can settle down. My cousin was getting married in about a week and half from that time in Houston. My husband and I decided that it was the best opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. So we booked our one-way flights to Houston.

We were running low on cash and the question of where we'd live came up over and over again from different people. We had no idea but we trusted that God will make a way since he told us to go to Houston. The plan was for me to get a job asap and put our daughter in daycare while my husband got accumulated to his new environment for a few weeks. My cousin that was set to get married offered for us to stay with her but I told her that it wasn't a good idea; she was about to be a newly wed and we didn't want to invade their privacy. My mom offered to call her older cousin and asked if we could stay with her and her husband; I was hesitant, but before I could turn down the offer, my mom already called and asked if we could stay for a month.

In the back of my mind I thought "one month is too long" . I had already started applying to jobs in Houston and I was trying to connect with people who could help me get my desired position in the Public Health field. I was certain that I would find something without any issues. Fast forward to about two weeks after my cousin's wedding; my husband and I were beginning to get weary. We had no car, there were no job leads and our money was running low. Having to depend on others to get from point A to B was so inconvenient; living in Houston without a car is a tragedy - you can't get too far. The public transportation is very limited; the taxis were unreasonably expensive and it was just too hot to walk. So we were bored and on the brink of being hopeless. Shortly after this, I got a job offer but declined because the pay was too low.

My aunt was an awesome host she tried her best to make us feel comfortable. However, I struggled with being a married woman and a mother and having to live with another family; it bruised my pride. And I felt like my daughter deserved better. I think it affected my husband more but he did a good job attempting to hide it. He would be very quiet and lost in thought at times, I know it hurt him as a man to not to be able to "provide" for him family. I tried to cheer him up but I also needed some cheering up; thankfully our pastors and families were always a source of encouragement and support and we made the best of the situation. In that season, we later discovered that God was trying to teach us something. We had to go through it so that others didn't. It was a part of our testimony; It was a part of our ministry.

With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_

6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestinyblog

Friday, July 06, 2018

Our Family: Redefined

Source; Google
Hello!

Thanks for stopping by today!

If you haven’t read my previous post, please do so HERE; so that you can follow.
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Becoming a mother, bestowed so much responsibility on me. After giving birth to my first child, it dawned on me that I was responsible for how her life turned out. I must admit that I was afraid initially; I often wondered if I had it in me to lead her aright...thank God for the Holy Spirit. I wanted to do my best so that she could be her best. After I became a Christian, I realized that most of the issues that I struggled with over time stemmed from my childhood. It is a beautiful miracle when we become born again; we become brand new, our past being inexistent. However, I had major issues that I had to deal with by God’s help; and it took time. I believe that every good parent wouldn’t want their children to go through the bad things that they did...I didn't for sure!

               So here I was in my parent’s house, hogging my child all to myself. At this point, I have set up certain boundaries for myself. I was cautious about what I watched on TV, the music that I listened to, etc. In my own home in Akure, there was an atmosphere that myself and my husband had cultivated and it worked for us. Naturally, I wanted to recreate that atmosphere for my daughter. I was mindful about the power of exposure; every show, movie, song, etc. has some sort of inspiration behind it. Even though my daughter was a new born, I knew that it was possible for her to absorb many things. However, it was a bit tough because it wasn’t my house; the best that I could do was control the bedroom that I slept in. My parents and siblings started to complain about not being able to spend time with their granddaughter/niece outside of my bedroom. And to be sincere, I needed a break from time to time. It was hard for me to explain why I was keeping her in the room; I didn’t want to sound or seem super-spiritual. I eventually allowed them to spend time with her outside the bedroom while I did other things (i.e. exercise, pray, relax, etc.).

                   I was slowly learning to make the best of the situation as I awaited my husband’s arrival. I was seriously looking forward to having him around and raising our daughter together as we’ve planned. Fast forward to three months later, my husband finally arrived in the United States! I couldn’t contain my excitement. I spent most of the day cooking and preparing for his arrival. His flight was delayed for some time but the time had finally come! He was going to meet his daughter for the first time!!! And we were going to be back together after being a part for six months! When we locked eyes at the airport, we were both all smiles. My daughter….our daughter, naturally warmed up to him; it was a beautiful sight to behold. After all the prayers, sleepless nights, tears from missing him and countdowns we were together as a family! It was freezing cold as we exited the airport because it was winter time in NY; but in my heart it felt like Spring and Summer time all at once; I was beyond happy.

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After spending all day cooking, you would think that my husband would want to eat what I cooked. Instead, he requested for a burger…he wanted an American meal. For the rest of the evening, we were playing catch up; as he and his daughter bonded, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. It was official! She was a Daddy’s girl! A few weeks prior to my husband’s arrival, the youth ministry of the church that I attended before returning to Nigeria invited us to come and be a part of a panel for a Valentine’s Day event that they were hosting. We gladly obliged. When I was single, I always hosted a Valentine’s Day event for the teenage church; I was a teacher and eventually became a leader. It amazed me how I was doing the same thing after marriage; it felt good to be doing it with my husband. I’ve always loved to talk about every LOVE: relationships, marriage, etc.

               Off we went a few days after his arrival, going about our father’s business with our three month old baby. Getting from NY to Maryland was not a walk in the park. We had to pack extra bags because of the baby (it was our first time traveling with a baby); it was extremely cold outside, getting from point A to B was a pain (we were obviously not prepared for the weather); we almost missed our bus, we found ourselves running with luggage and a car seat in tow…it was not fun. The bus ride was smooth over all; our baby was well behaved throughout the trip. When we arrived in Maryland, it took us a while to locate our ride, for some reason we couldn’t seem to find one another. When we eventually located our ride, we were relieved. I couldn’t wait to get into our hotel room, I was exhausted!

               We finally arrived at our hotel room and it was beautiful. We awaited my sister’s arrival as she was to bring us dinner. Dinner took longer than expected and we were hungry but we tried to focus on enjoying the moment; it felt good to be alone (just the three of us). When dinner arrived, we ate so fast! And it was good! Afterwards, we proceeded to make plans for the rest of our stay; we would only be there for the weekend. But we had so many people that we wanted to spend time with us. The next day was also Valentine’s Day! Our first as parents! My sister volunteered to watch our daughter while we went out for lunch. The weekend went so fast, we had lunch together on Valentine’s day, I went to go see a friend in the evening; the next day was church service and then we had the ministration shortly after (which went well); afterwards we were invited to dinner by one of the church members…we could barely eat as we were stuffed from eating all day. The following morning, we were on our way back to NY. And that’s how our journey of doing life and ministry together began in this part of the world. It was indeed a new experience! 

With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_

6. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi

7. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestinyblog

Friday, June 01, 2018

Supernatural Woman VI: Facing Reality

Source; Google

Hello! Welcome!

Happy New Month!!!
Wow, it's June already; we are half way through 2018!

I am excited to see what the remainder of the year has to offer; and I hope you are also. The year may have not started out as you intended it to, but the good news is that you're still standing! And it’s not over yet! Keep believing, keep pushing, and keep surging ahead...KEEP FAITH ALIVE!!!

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Today I continue my story about recovery after pregnancy...enjoy!

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I assumed that once I arrived at home, everything would be easy...breezy. After all, I had my parents and siblings around. BOY WAS I MISTAKEN!!!

After arriving at home that evening, my mother gave my daughter the traditional Nigerian bath; plus and minus something’s here and there...according to my preference. She also used a hot towel to rub/press on my body, especially my tummy region...it apparently helps the healing process-aiding the tummy to go down (it didn't work for me though). After all of the above, I was ready to have a good night's rest....hmmm....

I remember the first night alone with my baby. Before I went to bed, my mom asked if she should sleep in the room with me and I declined; I wanted some space, I had enough of people invading my space at the hospital. If I only knew, I would have obliged...my daughter woke up every two hours to eat. It felt like a joke; how was it possible? How did she know what time to wake up? Could she possibly be that hungry?

I was exhausted...I was physically and emotionally drained...It felt like someone was pranking me. I was relieved the next morning when my mom arrived to help take my baby's bath. As I handed over my daughter to my mother, a few tears escaped my eyes. With concern etched all over her face, she asked "Bunmi, kilode? (What’s wrong?)".  I could barely utter a response; I wiped my tears and laid back on my bed. 

I didn't get as much as rest as I hoped to because my mom had a million and one questions about what the baby would wear, what I'd eat, etc. Within a few minutes, I was up again. I got myself together and went on with my day. I took a shower, my mom made me breakfast and I attempted to breast feed my baby to no avail. I also tried the breast pump but didn't have a good milk supply; it was discouraging. I went online and decided to purchase "Mother's Milk" an herbal tea that was said to aid with breast milk production. After it arrived and as I became consistent with pumping about every 2 to 3 hours, my milk supply increased significantly; I had more than enough to feed my baby. I didn't feel as bad anymore about her not latching on to my breasts; bottle feeding her with breast milk was just as good.

*****
I was given so many instructions by my doctor since I had a C-section. I was told not to use the stairs (however my room was looked on the second floor of my parent's home); I was told not to lift things that were beyond a certain weight; I was told not to bend down much, etc. I was also informed of the possibility of my C-section wound tearing, etc. However I was determined not to be fearful; I did not take the pain medication that was given to me…to be honest, I didn’t have much pain... just a bit of discomfort. I continued with business as usual, of course with some caution but I refused to be limited (it's the stubborn part of me).

During this time, the Holy Spirit began to work on my mind and heart. I was able to get over the feeling of being a failure for having a C-section; I realized that the fact that my baby and I were alive and well was in itself supernatural. I became extremely grateful to God for bringing me from conception to delivery gracefully. I saw motherhood as a great privilege and honor and I wasn't going to allow the devil to distract me from that fact.

*****
A few days after our homecoming, I had to take my daughter to the hospital to see her pediatrician. After being checked, I was told that she was doing just fine! All glory to God! I also used that opportunity to see my doctor in reference to my blood pressure. I was put on a machine to monitor my blood pressure for some time; thankfully my daughter was asleep throughout the process so I could focus and be relaxed. The results showed that my blood pressure was still fluctuating between being too high and being normal; the doctor stated that it had something to do with pregnancy. She prescribed some medications to regulate my blood pressure and told me that I'll be fine. 

Through it all, I was in faith for total and complete healing. I trusted God to perfect my recovery process; because I knew that he blesses without adding sorrow (Proverbs 10:22).  After taking the medication for a few days, my blood pressure was back to normal; and it has been normal since then...Glory to God!!!

*****

I was slowly but surely getting used to motherhood; I had no choice, my mother only could take a week off of work. I had a new found respect for all moms; wow! It wasn't as easy as it looked! I still missed my husband so much but I made up my mind to focus on my baby while counting down his arrival at the back of my head.

Eight days after having my baby; the customary naming ceremony (where the baby is blessed and named by a pastor) was held. I was a little sad that my husband wasn't there; I also wasn't feeling too good about myself. My stomach was still huge and I was still very dark. One of my aunts exclaimed, "Look at your stomach! You still look pregnant!" with a look of disgust on her face. I was so hurt, but I made up my mind to shake it off...she is known for having no filter anyway.

On the day of the naming ceremony, everything happened so fast. My sister couldn’t do my makeup as planned so I had to manage to do a little something. We ran late and people starting to call my parents asking where they were. We rushed to the church and met a plethora of people. The original room that the pastor wanted to use was too small for my parent's crowd (yeah...they invited the whole world). I originally wanted a small naming ceremony especially since my husband wasn't around, but my parents weren't having it. At the end of the day, everything went well...that's all that mattered...

****

Over the next couple of weeks, I began to adapt to motherhood and I became very overprotective of my baby...I just wanted to be the perfect mom and I wanted her to have the very best.

To be continued...


With lots of love,

- Bunmi Adebiyi


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Thursday, May 17, 2018

Supernatural Woman V: Delivery and Recovery

Source: Google

Hello Everybody!!!

It's been too long, I know *covers eyes*. To all my faithful readers, I am sure that you are tired of the constant apologies for the intermittent breaks. The last couple of months have been extremely busy for me; and things have yet to slow down. I AM SORRY!

I will try to post more frequently...so help me God!

*******
So where were we? ....Oh yes...the C-SECTION

******
As I was being wheeled into the operation room, feelings of jealousy hit me as I heard the cries of babies in nearby delivery rooms; some of their mom's arrived after I did, yet they delivered before I did and they didn't have need a C-section like I did.

I felt like a failure; maybe my faith wasn't strong enough?!?! Maybe I didn't pray hard enough?!?! …But I prayed and made confessions about a NATURAL birth not a C-SECTION! What went wrong???

*******

In no time, the doors to the operating room flung opened; I was caught off guard by how cold it was! It felt like I was in a freezer! That was enough to get me to refocus; after all, I was about to have a baby! The doctor with the "tiny fingers" was mute and she wore a stern look on her face. No words of encouragement; no compassion...she was just blank. Thankfully the anesthesiologist was the total opposite, with him and my sister cheering me on, I was okay. The procedure was pretty quick. I had no idea of what was going on down there because my view was block by a piece of cloth. Throughout the process, I was grateful to not feel any pain; because I've heard of some traumatic experiences.

In no time, I heard her first cry as the room was filled shouts of ‘congratulations’.  They showed her to me briefly as they had to run some quick tests and take her to the NICU; because they feared that I had an "infection" and they wanted to place her on antibiotics. As I held her briefly, all the feelings of anger, jealousy and disappointment drifted away. Her eyes was so beautiful, I was captivated by her. I couldn't believe that I was her mother. To top it off, she looked absolutely nothing like me; her complexion was significantly lighter than mine, she had chinky eyes and she had fine textured hair. The look on her face seemed to read "Are you happy now?"  It seemed like she wasn't ready to come out of her comfort zone (my womb) just yet.

They quickly took her from me and proceeded to stitch me up as my sister followed my new baby girl. I suddenly felt extremely sleepy; it was a struggle to keep my eyes open. The anesthesiologist kept patting me gently on my shoulder, he kept telling me not to fall asleep. While this was going on, my mom met her first grandchild in the delivery room; she was so overwhelmed with joy that tears began to fall from her eyes. My daughter smiled at her....I saw the proof in the pictures that my sister took.

ALL GLORY TO GOD!!!

*****

Recovery for me wasn't fun; it felt like it was never ending. After delivery, I was extremely tired and weak. I slept on and off for the rest of the day; I was too weak to get out of bed. Even when visitors came, I was barely responsive. I was told that I could not eat anything until I had a bowel movement; well that didn't happen during day 1. I was also unable to see my baby because I was too weak to go and see her in the NICU. I wasn't happy about not being able to do skin-to-skin or breast feed her; she was given formula, and that was not a part of the plan.

I was finally able to have a bowel movement the next day. I also made up my mind to get up and walk. Boy oh boy! It was so painful! I couldn't even stand up straight. And I had to walk around with an IV stand, it was so inconvenient, but it also assisted me with walking. It was annoying to see the mothers that gave birth naturally; they walked around freely and their tummies seemed to have disappeared, while i looked like I was 6 months pregnant. I walked straight to the NICU to see my baby. I was crushed to see her around very sick babies; I knew that she was just fine! She looked absolutely beautiful and peaceful; all the nurses were saying how great she was doing and how she was eating very well. I was so happy to hear that. I proceeded to hold her; I stared at her in amazement. At that moment, all was right in the world. She was worth it; the time spent in labor, the pain, the C-section, etc. didn't matter any longer.

I was then encouraged to breast feed her. I initially thought that it would be a walk in the park...however it was more like a walk in an obstacle course. I could not get her to latch on. I tried and tried and it just didn't work. It went on to be a battle even after I was discharged from the hospital; we tried everything from nipple shields, to different techniques until I eventually gave up. My breast pump and I became the best of friends for the next year; we communicated every three hours. After weeks of trying, I was finally able to sustain a milk supply that was good enough to feed her exclusively; she didn't like formula too much...it gave her lots of gas.

****

So back to the hospital, after my initial attempt to breastfeed my daughter failed, I just held her and fed her formula instead. It was a beautiful moment; I stared at her in amazement for most of the time. After my visit with her, I proceeded to make my long trip to my room; the pain was intense! I finally made it back and was famished. I requested for a lunch menu only for the nurse to tell me that I had been placed on a liquid diet; because my blood pressure was fluctuating between being too high and being normal. I literally felt like crying and screaming at the top of my lungs. After coming back to myself, I ordered chicken broth and juice (*rolls eyes*).

My blood pressure kept fluctuating and the doctors wanted to monitor me closely plus my daughter was still in the NICU. So my discharge date was up in the air. I kept praying that everything will normalize so that I could get out of the hospital ASAP. I had the most amazing nurse, she would give me extra supplies: diapers, formula, female items, etc. One day she came to check on me and noticed that I didn't look too happy, she asked if I had eaten and I told her that I was still on a liquid diet. She was the one that advocated for me to be put on a regular diet, and the doctor agreed. She was God-sent!

I was admitted into the hospital on a Tuesday morning, technically after a C-section I should be free to go home three days after delivery. The doctor was reluctant to discharge me even after my daughter was discharged from the NICU (Friday). I was ready to GO!!! I didn't enjoy my time at the hospital, the constant checking of my blood pressure and giving of medications made it hard for me to rest. And when my daughter was placed in my room, I caught a glimpse of mother...feeding every 2 hours, frequent diaper changes, etc. I WANTED MY MOMMY!!!

The doctor finally discharged me on Saturday evening; with instructions to monitor my blood pressure regularly and to return to the hospital in a couple of weeks. FREE AT LAST!!!



Or so I thought....




With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

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