Destiny Testimonies: Victory at Last!

Hello Everyone!

Thank you for stopping by the blog today! Today I will be featuring another awesome testimony. Like, Share, Comment and be BLESSED!

Meet Jasmine Irving, isn't she beautiful? After reading her testimony, I was in tears. From a very early age she was violated by a loved one; that experienced had a lasting impact and affected her for years to come.




Here is her story:

Growing up was not easy. I always felt like the odd ball out and everyone made it known. I was brought up in a family where all we had was each other. My immediate family consisted of my brother and me with my mom and dad. The closest members of our family by blood lived all the way in Georgia. I wasn't good at making friends; but I was ok with that because I only wanted to be around my brother and his friends. As a kid I remember following my brother around everywhere.

One night I followed him as usual and ended up in bed with him and my god brother. It was like a slumber party. That night I chose to be one of the boys. My blood brother had already gone off into deep sleep when I suddenly discovered that my god brother was performing sexual acts on me, while I pretended to be asleep. I pretended to be asleep because I was young and scared. I was too scared to jump up and yell. I wasn't sure what the feeling was, I just knew that it felt nasty. So I cried quietly looking at my brother asleep on the other end of the bed, hoping he would wake up and tell me what to do. 

However, that moment never came. I continued to pretend that I was asleep, until I felt enough pain to move and startle my god brother; he quickly moved from off of me. I sat up as he was in the bathroom and cried silent tears trying to understand the act, which was sex. At first, I thought that maybe it was normal but something in my gut said "Get up Jazz". He came out of the bathroom and told me to go back to sleep, but I went to tell his mom instead. He followed me down the hall to defend his actions. Long story short, his mom and my godmother believed him and rushed my brother and me to meet my parents. They both insisted on a lie, they said that it was all a dream. 

Months passed and I got over the situation believing that maybe I was dreaming so we went back to their house week after week. Each visit was filled with tickles, grabs and touching by my god brother all in the wrong places. The grownups called it love and a connection that he had with me; which he also had with his other younger female cousins my age (there is an 8 year gap between him and I). While they enjoyed and encouraged his interaction with me, I just wanted to run away. 

I was confused and thought to myself "Is this what life is about?" I played the role and kept my mouth shut all the until the 7th grade. By this time, I was full blown numb. I had no sense of self-worth. I allowed myself to get bullied as long as it made the other classmates laugh. I never said NO!!

Fast forward to high school, I followed my brother’s footsteps and tried to be his protégé by joining the Junior ROTC program. I hung out with him after school and liked the same things he liked. Yes, I thought I could be a woman lover as well. I excelled in the army program, his dream not mines; but my grades were horrible. I was not focused on school work but was focused on being just like my brother. I was in and out of liking girls along with being promiscuous with guys. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Eventually, I graduated but just barely.

Back at home, my dad was the money maker and my mom made sure we had cooked dinner every night. We were in church every Sunday but my mind was not in the sermon. I started having relations during church service with one of the church members. We would sneak out during beak whenever we had to sing on youth Sundays. I started smoking weed and thought that I was cute. Now I was bold enough to admit that I liked females; it was what I thought made me get in cool with the guys. Time went on and I turned 20 but something in my spirit became visible to my parents, they knew that something wasn't right.

I ended up telling them for the first time through pictures and briefly written descriptions that my god brother raped me. And that I started liking females because I was confused. I sought help through therapy and my mother made sure I was covered in holy oil. By this time, I had one real relationship by this time it was not the best to set a standard; it was verbally abusive.

I was active in the dance ministry at church as well as an instructor of another dance troop with another church. I was living two different lives; trying to enjoy pleasure with the devil but being convicted by the spirit every time I danced. I was lost, even though I was teaching the girls not to fall into that category. As much as I was involved with the church, I was still missing the connection with a male and found myself not being able to balance my growth in life and relationships. But the relationships won so I quit teaching the dance troop to devote my time to a guy who didn't love me.

Time went on and I jumped in and out of relationships until I ended up pregnant with a married man; but miscarried the baby because I was stressed upon finding out that he didn't love me as I had anticipated. I took time off and thought I needed to "switch teams" so I sought love in a female coworker. We dated and her love seemed to be everything opposite of that of men. But my spirit told me that it wasn't right. I was able to leave her but had to quit my job in the process; I wanted to avoid her being disappointment in me leaving the relationship. 

I ended up falling deeper in sin and smoked every day and night, I missed rent payments, started seeking employment at strip clubs, hustling my talent to make change and then ended up in jail! Jail in Upper Marlboro, MD was not pretty; but God saw me through. In that season of my life, God needed me to be alone; in order for me to understand that I needed to slow down and focus on him. 

Jail was truly a wakeup call but when I got out, I went right back to the lifestyle I was trying to escape. The person, who is now my child's father, was not ready to stop smoking and had no job so I still needed to make money to provide for his habit and to keep him in my life. I was still not getting the picture that God was trying to paint for me. In jail, some of the girls told me to leave him before it was too late. I agreed but had no intention of doing so; I knew that he needed me. I was worshipping him more than Him (God).

My downward spiral was still in progress, but it was what I was used to so I dealt with it. Every once in a while I would realize that things weren't right with what I was doing but when you're in a controlling relationship, you aren't allowed to say NO. Whenever I tried to say no, I was called every name in the book. One day, I was kicked out of the car that we slept in; and in the next minute, I was broke because I gave him all my money. This relationship lasted for over a year and each day felt like a year taken off of my life. By the time I was mustering up the courage to leave, I found out that I was pregnant. 

Things didn't get any easier, as I am now in my 5th month of pregnancy. BUT GOD!!! is already showing himself mighty in this battle. He is building walls around my heart, giving me something to truly love and protect (my unborn daughter), opening doors of employment and giving me my life back. I have paid off more bills than I thought I could in a short period of time.

My parents are strict but my praying mother prayed for the right thing and God is not done with me yet. They are helping me along the way, knowing the journey will be hard but I am so glad that the gate keeper to my possibility in life is non-other than the Lord. He has given me a reason to say NO to hurt and NO to her dad. NO to being a doormat and NO to giving him money. I pray he gets better and I pray my journey only gets brighter. But thank God I don't look like what I've been through. I have a job, a car, a healthy growing baby in me, I am back in church and praising him like never before, I'm single but I am so happy that my blessing is on the way. 

I want to encourage someone that life is a story line of sad and unfortunate events that may steer you away from your promise of happiness, BUT GOD!!! won’t leave you there. He will use that mess and put you through a test to allow your testimony to be so powerful that even your enemies will change their ways. I am free from drugs, my record is being cleared, and I am not ashamed of what I went through. I have a purpose I am choosing to live life like I know it. God is good and after all that I've been through, I still have JOY!!!

I hope that you were blessed by that testimony, thanks for reading! If you'd like to share your testimony, send an email to destinationdestiny7@gmail.com. 

You're blessed!


- Bunmi


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