Something New...

 The break wasn't easy on me. I had a lot of emotional turmoil. I knew that I made the right decision but I didn't want to have to start over again. Everyone that knew me, knew that I was in a committed relationship with him. It was my first serious relationship. Most of  all, I always wanted to marry the man that I became intimate with. I felt empty and ashamed. 

However those feelings didn't last long. Shortly after the breakup I reconnected with a guy that I met through his sister (we'll call her Rachael). Rachael and I attended the same university and became friends. There was a particular time that I was feeling lonely, because myself Amanda, Lisa and Jennifer had a falling out (I can't remember how or why). So out of extreme boredom I sent a message to Rachael on Facebook saying that I was bored and that we should hangout. She replied and said that she usually had to hang out with her brother to have fun because her dad was so strict. In a consecutive message Racheal said that she told her brother about me and that we would definitely hangout soon.

Well he added me on hi5 (anyone remember that?) a few days later. We sent a few messages to each, just exchanging pleasantries and that was it. I never heard from him again. 

One day the Howard University African Student Association (ASA) threw a party. Rachael and I agreed to meet up there. She came with her brother, I finally met him in person. But I was instantly turned off because he was unfriendly and acting arrogantly. He stood in front of his car with dark sunglasses (mind you it was night time), a tshirt and loose fitting jeans. He was going on and on about hating Nigerian parties and said that he was leaving for a club instead. He acted like he was too good to mingle with Nigerians, in my head I was wondering why he came in the first place. Shortly after his ranting he left, Racheal and I stayed and had a great time.

A few weeks after he sent me a message on hi5 saying that he got into an accident and was going for physical therapy. About a week later I sent him a message to check on him and he was surprised and thanked me. Amanda's then boyfriend and now husband had a birthday party a few days later, it was also my cousin/roommate's birthday. So we were very excited, she invited her two friends to join us for the party.

Anyone that knew me back then knows that I loved to dance at parties, so I danced all night. Periodically different guys approached me and tried to dance with me but I'd decline each time. Rachael's  brother also approached me that night, I hadn't seen him earlier. Right when I was about to diss him, he said "wait...wait, it's me! Rachael's brother" I turned to face him and greeted him with a smile, we then exchanged numbers and that was it for the night.

As if he knew, he called me a few days after the breakup. We spoke all night long! He even asked me to marry him jokingly after I told him that I was applying to Physical Therapy school . I enjoyed our conversation, it kept me from crying my eyes out and thinking whether I did the right thing by breaking up with the ex. Our phone calls became more regular and then they led to us hanging out. He was there to console me and I felt comfortable with him.

About three weeks after the breakup with my ex, Rachael's brother (let's call him Daniel) asked me to be his girl. Without thinking I said "yes" he had a shocked look on his face. He later told me that he didn't expect me to say yes right away, he thought we'd play a little game called 'hard to get'. I don't know why I said yes, it wasn't a wise idea since I just got out a relationship. But I really enjoyed his company.

Our relationship lasted for about 3 years. My mom loved him, his mom loved me and we knew each other's family and friends.. I thought that I had reached my final bus stop...I wanted to 'die there'...Lol. Even when it was obvious that we had some major issues...my low self esteem told me that he was the best for me and I had to endure.

Daniel and I did everything together, we were inseparable. People used to always say that we were such a cute couple. From the outside we were picture perfect, but behind closed doors our issues were suffocating us both.

You're Blessed!

-Bunmi