Light At The End of the Tunnel

Getting over Daniel was long and hard. It was a very dark road. Even though my life was much better without him. Somewhere deep down inside of me, I felt like he was "the one". I know what he had been through and I just wanted to be there for him, to help him heal and become a better man. I often defended him amongst friends and family, I felt like he was misunderstood even though we weren't together anymore.

While one part of me held on to him, the other part moved on tremendously in other areas of my life. All the broken pieces of my life were being repaired by the master planner himself! As I spent time studying the Word and looking for every opportunity to be in his presence (I was in church at least 3 times a week), he started molding me and shaping me into who I was destined to be. I became happier, more driven, and my confidence skyrocketed. I've never felt such peace before.

After failing physical therapy school, I started seeking God for direction about what career path to chose. I knew that I had a passion to help others better themselves, whether it was in the careers, relationships, walk with God, etc. I had already discovered my purpose a few years prior to that; which is to empower young women to live a life of purpose, become well-rounded individuals, and to live a life of sexual purity. I desired a career that would encompass both my passion and purpose.

****Let's back track a bit****

How did I ever discover my purpose? I'm sure you're wondering...

Well it was a regular day in 2006, I just returned to my dorm and as I walked past the visitor's registration desk I saw something that caught my attention. It was a book titled, "Single, Saved, and Selibate". It was free so I grabbed a copy. I started reading it and I couldn't put it down. It was a story about a young lady's struggle with remaining pure until marriage. I enjoyed the book because she was so real and I could relate. Most Christians that I knew formed "holy than thou" and acted like they've never been tempted or have fallen into temptation before. So I appreciated her courage to be honest. It didn't make her less of a Christian.

I was so intrigued by this book that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to email the author and thank her for inspiration. She replied my email! And she was so nice! After a couple of emails, I told her that I felt led to start an all girl's group and wanted to use her book. She not only sent me the books for free but she autographed each one! Talk about favor! At that time I was still involved in the church I grew up in and I honestly didn't see an avenue for such a group neither did I have the confidence to stand before people and speak. So I chickened out and just distributed the books to each girl instead, praying that the young ladies would be as blessed as I was by it.

By then I had no idea I was called into ministry, however I remember a day when it was first revealed to me. I was around the age of 12 and I was seated in my room when suddenly a picture flash before me, I saw myself in a vision standing before a large crowd and I was speaking to them. I couldn't quite understand it then and I was extremely shy so I dismissed it as a figment of my imagination.

Thank God for the church that I joined when I moved in with my cousin. I became a worker in 2007. Started growing and met great people that were doing great things, who inspired me to follow my dreams. After fighting the urge for so long, I finally worked up the courage to start the all girl ministry in the teenage church in 2009. I wasn't sure about how to go about it and I was still struggling with my personal issues but I couldn't fight it any longer.

In the beginning, I wasn't that into it. The shame and guilt of my own struggles held me bound. The devil would taunt me and tell me that I wasn't qualified, etc you know how he does! Lie! But after the breakup in the last quarter of 2009, I put my all into it. I didn't want any of the young ladies to go through what I did. And to the glory of God, so many lives were transformed through the ministry.

***Now, Let's continue where I left off...

So after much prayer and counsel from others, I perceived that God wanted me to go into Public Health. It was perfect for me, it was broad, a growing profession, and had a lot of opportunities. I discovered that I had to take the GRE before applying to schools. And boy o boy did I hate standardized exams! I always struggled with them, it was by God's grace that I even passed the SATs while in high school.

I tried my best to study for the exam but I didn't do much to be honest. My score was pretty low, but I decided to apply for schools anyway. I applied to two well-renowned universities and was devastated when I was rejected by both of them. One of the schools said my GRE score was too low. At this point, I was tired of everything, I hated my job (found a job at a law firm), I was not in graduate school, and I was lonely (I wasn't used to be single).

And then to make matters worse, in December 2009 (five months after I started), I lost my job. The company went bankrupt and had to let all its employees go...hmm, another disappointment!

Life became so unbearable, I felt like I had bad luck or I was cursed. Thankfully, my wonderful friends encouraged me to re-take the GRE, I was hesitant and didn't have the money but my friends kept pushing me. One of them gave me the money and I registered for the exam. I lacked motivation to study for it, which probably explains why I did so poorly, I did worst than I did the first time. I was extremely discouraged. And then shortly after that, I was evicted from my apartment because I hadn't paid my rent in months.


Could it get any worse???

A few weeks later, I worked up the courage and gather some money to pay for another grad school application. I reapplied to one of the schools that rejected me before, and lo and behold it happened again! I didn't get accepted. It felt like my heart was shatter3ed into a million pieces. I began to question if God really told me to pursue a career in Public Health, I felt that if he did then it shouldn't have been so hard! 

My money was running low, so I applied to any and every kind of job so that I could at least pay my bills, but I didn't get anything stable. Just temporary positions.

****AND THEN THERE WAS LIGHT!

One day my younger sister called me, she told me about a Master's of Public Health program at her school and encouraged me to apply. But I didn't want to hear it. I had lost hope. After a few pep talks from friends and family, I applied reluctantly, I waited to submit my application on the deadline day. I didn't put much effort into making my application stand out.

A few weeks later I was called for an interview over the phone, it went well. Then a few months later, I received an email that had me rejoicing for a long time! To the glory of God! I got accepted into the school, and if that wasn't enough I was offered a scholarship! God is good!

You're blessed!

- Bunmi

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