Our Family: Redefined

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Hello!

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Becoming a mother, bestowed so much responsibility on me. After giving birth to my first child, it dawned on me that I was responsible for how her life turned out. I must admit that I was afraid initially; I often wondered if I had it in me to lead her aright...thank God for the Holy Spirit. I wanted to do my best so that she could be her best. After I became a Christian, I realized that most of the issues that I struggled with over time stemmed from my childhood. It is a beautiful miracle when we become born again; we become brand new, our past being inexistent. However, I had major issues that I had to deal with by God’s help; and it took time. I believe that every good parent wouldn’t want their children to go through the bad things that they did...I didn't for sure!

               So here I was in my parent’s house, hogging my child all to myself. At this point, I have set up certain boundaries for myself. I was cautious about what I watched on TV, the music that I listened to, etc. In my own home in Akure, there was an atmosphere that myself and my husband had cultivated and it worked for us. Naturally, I wanted to recreate that atmosphere for my daughter. I was mindful about the power of exposure; every show, movie, song, etc. has some sort of inspiration behind it. Even though my daughter was a new born, I knew that it was possible for her to absorb many things. However, it was a bit tough because it wasn’t my house; the best that I could do was control the bedroom that I slept in. My parents and siblings started to complain about not being able to spend time with their granddaughter/niece outside of my bedroom. And to be sincere, I needed a break from time to time. It was hard for me to explain why I was keeping her in the room; I didn’t want to sound or seem super-spiritual. I eventually allowed them to spend time with her outside the bedroom while I did other things (i.e. exercise, pray, relax, etc.).

                   I was slowly learning to make the best of the situation as I awaited my husband’s arrival. I was seriously looking forward to having him around and raising our daughter together as we’ve planned. Fast forward to three months later, my husband finally arrived in the United States! I couldn’t contain my excitement. I spent most of the day cooking and preparing for his arrival. His flight was delayed for some time but the time had finally come! He was going to meet his daughter for the first time!!! And we were going to be back together after being a part for six months! When we locked eyes at the airport, we were both all smiles. My daughter….our daughter, naturally warmed up to him; it was a beautiful sight to behold. After all the prayers, sleepless nights, tears from missing him and countdowns we were together as a family! It was freezing cold as we exited the airport because it was winter time in NY; but in my heart it felt like Spring and Summer time all at once; I was beyond happy.

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After spending all day cooking, you would think that my husband would want to eat what I cooked. Instead, he requested for a burger…he wanted an American meal. For the rest of the evening, we were playing catch up; as he and his daughter bonded, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. It was official! She was a Daddy’s girl! A few weeks prior to my husband’s arrival, the youth ministry of the church that I attended before returning to Nigeria invited us to come and be a part of a panel for a Valentine’s Day event that they were hosting. We gladly obliged. When I was single, I always hosted a Valentine’s Day event for the teenage church; I was a teacher and eventually became a leader. It amazed me how I was doing the same thing after marriage; it felt good to be doing it with my husband. I’ve always loved to talk about every LOVE: relationships, marriage, etc.

               Off we went a few days after his arrival, going about our father’s business with our three month old baby. Getting from NY to Maryland was not a walk in the park. We had to pack extra bags because of the baby (it was our first time traveling with a baby); it was extremely cold outside, getting from point A to B was a pain (we were obviously not prepared for the weather); we almost missed our bus, we found ourselves running with luggage and a car seat in tow…it was not fun. The bus ride was smooth over all; our baby was well behaved throughout the trip. When we arrived in Maryland, it took us a while to locate our ride, for some reason we couldn’t seem to find one another. When we eventually located our ride, we were relieved. I couldn’t wait to get into our hotel room, I was exhausted!

               We finally arrived at our hotel room and it was beautiful. We awaited my sister’s arrival as she was to bring us dinner. Dinner took longer than expected and we were hungry but we tried to focus on enjoying the moment; it felt good to be alone (just the three of us). When dinner arrived, we ate so fast! And it was good! Afterwards, we proceeded to make plans for the rest of our stay; we would only be there for the weekend. But we had so many people that we wanted to spend time with us. The next day was also Valentine’s Day! Our first as parents! My sister volunteered to watch our daughter while we went out for lunch. The weekend went so fast, we had lunch together on Valentine’s day, I went to go see a friend in the evening; the next day was church service and then we had the ministration shortly after (which went well); afterwards we were invited to dinner by one of the church members…we could barely eat as we were stuffed from eating all day. The following morning, we were on our way back to NY. And that’s how our journey of doing life and ministry together began in this part of the world. It was indeed a new experience! 

With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


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