Oluwatomiyin VI

Hello! Thanks for stopping by today!

Enjoy as the story of "Oluwatomiyin" continues.

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Well she went on to get married. She married a man that her parents chose for her. He was a man that she barely knew; she only remembered seeing him in church while growing up. She married a man that knew nothing about her past...including me. In his eyes, he married the best. He married a pastor's daughter...an innocent Saint; to him my mom was perfect, she was his trophy wife. 

She would call big mummy from time to time when she was able to sneak some calls in. She would ask how I was doing and spend the rest of the time crying her eyes out over the phone. She was miserable, she didn't love him. She felt like she was living with a stranger; she didn't feel like they were compatible. She also felt like she was living a double life. It was eating her up inside, she wanted to have me by her side. She felt like a terrible mother. Big mummy would comfort her and reassure her that I was in good hands. She'd tell her not to beat herself up because decisions were made for her; it wasn't her fault.

After a few months big mummy stopped hearing from her; she stopped calling without a warning. At first, big mummy was worried but she'd hear that my mom was doing well when she called her daughter (my grandmother). She made up her mind to save me for the misery that surrounded my coming into the world. She vowed to herself to never bring my mom up for the sake of protecting me. She felt like there was no way I'd understand; it was a messy situation.

She was particularly upset with my grandparents. She couldn't phantom why they didn't want anything to do with me. She'd scold her daughter for living like I never existed. Her daughter (my grandmother) would apologize but she had no remorse. They were pastors and they had an image to maintain; she'd saying that they had to live by example. They felt that the money that they sent for my schooling and upkeep was enough to fill the void.

But it wasn't, I was robbed of a mother. I was robbed of a real family. I was robbed of a childhood simply because some people felt that I was a mistake and nothing good could come out of me. Thank God for big mummy and the community that raised me. Deep within, I knew that I was not a mistake; I knew that greatness lied within.

****

Big mummy and I would attend church every Sunday; she'd also go a few times during the week. But I'd make excuses about going with her during the week. I'd say I had to study for an exam or that I had too many assignments to complete.

I used to love going all the time as a little girl. But the truth is that I now hated the church. I felt like they were all hypocrites living a fake life. After all, my so called grandparents were pastors. I'd be at church physically on Sundays but my mind would be elsewhere; filled with negative emotions. I would fill a nudging to pay attention because I knew that they were speaking the truth but I'd ignore it. The words from the pastor's lips would go in one ear and out the other. 

****

After the discovery of my past, I became angry. I was not a happy person. Everything and everyone irritated me. I just wanted to keep to myself. I didn't want to be bothered. I trusted no one. 

All my friends noticed my sudden change in behavior, they'd try their best to comfort and encourage me but it didn't work. I felt unwanted and unloved. It was the worse feeling in the world. I tried to forgive my mom but I still blamed her secretly; there wasn’t an excuse she should have found a way to come for me. I didn't bother trying to forgive my grandparents; I hated them with a passion.

Big mummy was the only one that I loved and trusted. I did all that I could to make her happy. I didn't want her to be stressed for another second. I did well in school, helped more around the house and started assisting her with selling provisions at her shop.

When she became ill, I panicked. Her condition kept deteriorating. I prayed and prayed for a miracle. She was all that I had. Seeing her in pain crushed me. The doctors said that she had a heart condition. She could barely breathe, let alone talk. She was given tons of medications and other treatments but nothing seemed to work. 

My so-called-good-for-nothing grandparents said that they were too busy to come. The ministry was growing and they couldn't afford to leave. The best they could do was send money and prayers her way. Well neither of them worked. On June 7, 2001 I lost the only person that ever loved me. Big mummy died at exactly 5:15 am in my arms. In the blink of an eye, my whole world came crashing down. I tired to wake her up, I really did. But my vigorous shaking and ear deafening screams could not bring her back, she was gone...gone for good.

You're blessed!


- Bunmi


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