The Decision

A few hours after the drama unfolded, Raymond called me. I could hear the excitement and anticipation entangled with every word that exited his lips. I sat there patiently waiting to dispel the information that I had gathered. I asked if he had heard from God concerning us, he said a resounding YES! I smiled to myself. He asked me the same question and told him my answer was the same until a few hours ago.

He surprisingly asked me why and I went on to tell him all that transpired while he slept. Of course he was caught off guard. He proceeded to say that the girl was lying. He said that they were never in a relationship, and that she basically pushed herself on him because she was desperate to get married. He said that he was not staying with her through out the trip, he said he was staying with his cousin as he informed me in the beginning. He only stated with her for a short while and nothing happened between them sexually. 

I asked why he cropped her out of some of the pictures that he sent me. He said that she forced him to take pictures with him, and that I'd notice in the pictures that he looked annoyed and was not smiling. He pleaded with me to believe him, and that he really wanted me to be a part of his life. 

I told him that I had to get off of the phone, I didn't have anything to say to him. He was due to head back to Nigeria that day, so we did not communicate during his journey back. During that time, i was overwhelmed with confusion. I thought that I had heard from God to proceed, but with all that unfolded it didn't make sense to me. Was this a test of my faith in God? Is the devil trying to rob me of my blessing?

I reviewed each conversation that I had during the day in my head over and over again. Could the man that I have spoken to everyday for the last two months and developed emotions for be a phony? I could not phantom it, he seemed like all I wanted minus his lifestyle. After all I was once is his shoes, I could help him. Couldn't I?

I told my sister what happened and she said the girl sounded crazy, that she probably was lying to a certain extent. She said that she wanted me to be happy and that she hadn't seen me that happy in a long while. She told me that I should believe him and give him a chance. I contemplated it for a while and agreed with her, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be in love again. 

I look back now and see how the children of God miss his Will at times. I prayed and God answered in a very obvious way. But to be sincere, I didn't want that answer. I filled in the blank and lied on God, telling everyone that "God said that he's my husband". Hmm...thank God for his mercy.

Raymond called me when he arrived in Nigeria. We proceed with the normal small talk, how are you? How was your flight? Etc. But there was something that we both had to settle. He apologized again and asked if I had made a decision, I told him yes. When I told him my decision, he started shouting for joy at the top of his lungs. It felt good to be the source of someone's joy. He went on to ask if I'd be his girlfriend, I said yes. He quickly asked me to grab a drink as he did the same and he proposed a toast to a new beginning. All of a sudden it began to rain, I told him and he said it was a confirmation that we were meant to be. He then said that he was too happy, he wanted to call his family and share the good news with them. So we hung up. 

I went on to tell my close friends, they were all happy for me. However my best friend's response surprised me. She asked me a few questions that made me second guess my decision. She asked if I was sure, she asked me why would the girl lie to me, etc. She was not feeling it and she didn't hide it. We couldn't speak for long because she had to attend to something, so we said our good byes.

And then the journey began. Raymond and I continued our daily conversations. All was going well until I informed him of what God had been laying on my heart since I returned from Nigeria. I told him that God has been telling me to move to Nigeria. Imagine my shock when he wasn't happy to hear that. After all, I thought that he would at least be happy that we would be closer to one another.

He wasn't in support of my decision at all. He kept asking what I would do while in Nigeria, etc. I also noticed that he would ask me questions about master degree programs in America. I wondered why and would ask if he was planning on coming to study here and he'd say, "Oh no, I'm just curious." 

He started a new job at a new bank and he started to get distance. The calls were less frequent, our morning prayer time stopped, etc. He claimed that his new job was very demanding and stressful. He also slept at home less frequently, he suddenly started sleeping at his friend's place saying that he needed a break from living at home with his mom. I wasn't happy with that arrangement because his friend smoked weed, which he claimed to have stopped doing while in university and took up cigarette smoking instead. 

I slowly started to think that our relationship was a huge mistake but I was determined to keep at it, after all "God said he was my husband". 

****

After fighting it for months, crying and pleading with God to send someone else, and numerous confirmations, I decided to obey God and move to Nigeria. It was one of the toughest decisions that I ever had to make, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me to relocate. I was so scared. How would I live in a far away country without my immediate family and friends? A country that I had only visited for two weeks prior? It didn't make sense to me.

I informed my family and friends about the decision, a lot of people thought I was crazy. Why would a fresh master's of public health graduate want to move to Nigeria? Some of my friends had to ask me if I was moving because of Raymond...I laughed at that. While I was a hopeful romantic, I was a tough cookie as well...I wasn't desperate, he would have to wife me! 

When I told some people that I had heard from God, they questioned my ability to hear from him. Someone asked, "So what did he say? Did he come with a loud voice and say oooooo BUNMI move to Nigeria!" While I laughed outwardly, I was saddened, weren't we all suppose to hear from God concerning every step of our lives? As Christians, how could we follow our father without hearing from him?

My number one supporter was my sister, she kept encouraging me to obey God. She fell in love with Nigeria during our trip and expressed her desire to live there one day, so she was all for it!  I on the other hand saw Nigeria simply as a Christmas vacation spot.

I started praying for clarity about the move but I didn't hear much about what I'd be doing in Nigeria, I just heard go! I began to search online for public health jobs in Lagos, Nigeria. I was surprised that there weren't many options. Most of the public health jobs were located in Abuja, the capital of Nigeria. I didn't have any family there so I wasn't feeling it. I also noticed that almost all the jobs asked for a National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) certification. I had heard about it previously but I was not interested. Basically it is a one year program for university graduates, where they are sent to a town that they are not originally from to serve a specific community in line with their degree. See www.nysc.gov.ng for more information.

After praying about it, I perceived God telling me to go ahead with the program. I was not too happy about that because I've heard so many negative things about the program. By the time I finally made up my mind, I discovered that the registration for NYSC was ending in two weeks and officially starting in a little over a month. What! I had so much to do in so little time! I had to make some quick plans, it was happening way too fast. I had to register in person so I quickly purchased a plane ticket and prepared for the trip, thankfully my sister came along. 

I graduated to the Glory of God with my Master's in Public Health degree at the top of my class prior to that trip. I was so happy, the journey of hard work, late nights, early mornings and determination paid off. But interestingly enough on the day of graduation among the excitement, I felt a void. I thought to myself "Is this it?"

To be continued...

You're blessed!


- Bunmi


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