Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby. Show all posts

Friday, July 06, 2018

Our Family: Redefined

Source; Google
Hello!

Thanks for stopping by today!

If you haven’t read my previous post, please do so HERE; so that you can follow.
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Becoming a mother, bestowed so much responsibility on me. After giving birth to my first child, it dawned on me that I was responsible for how her life turned out. I must admit that I was afraid initially; I often wondered if I had it in me to lead her aright...thank God for the Holy Spirit. I wanted to do my best so that she could be her best. After I became a Christian, I realized that most of the issues that I struggled with over time stemmed from my childhood. It is a beautiful miracle when we become born again; we become brand new, our past being inexistent. However, I had major issues that I had to deal with by God’s help; and it took time. I believe that every good parent wouldn’t want their children to go through the bad things that they did...I didn't for sure!

               So here I was in my parent’s house, hogging my child all to myself. At this point, I have set up certain boundaries for myself. I was cautious about what I watched on TV, the music that I listened to, etc. In my own home in Akure, there was an atmosphere that myself and my husband had cultivated and it worked for us. Naturally, I wanted to recreate that atmosphere for my daughter. I was mindful about the power of exposure; every show, movie, song, etc. has some sort of inspiration behind it. Even though my daughter was a new born, I knew that it was possible for her to absorb many things. However, it was a bit tough because it wasn’t my house; the best that I could do was control the bedroom that I slept in. My parents and siblings started to complain about not being able to spend time with their granddaughter/niece outside of my bedroom. And to be sincere, I needed a break from time to time. It was hard for me to explain why I was keeping her in the room; I didn’t want to sound or seem super-spiritual. I eventually allowed them to spend time with her outside the bedroom while I did other things (i.e. exercise, pray, relax, etc.).

                   I was slowly learning to make the best of the situation as I awaited my husband’s arrival. I was seriously looking forward to having him around and raising our daughter together as we’ve planned. Fast forward to three months later, my husband finally arrived in the United States! I couldn’t contain my excitement. I spent most of the day cooking and preparing for his arrival. His flight was delayed for some time but the time had finally come! He was going to meet his daughter for the first time!!! And we were going to be back together after being a part for six months! When we locked eyes at the airport, we were both all smiles. My daughter….our daughter, naturally warmed up to him; it was a beautiful sight to behold. After all the prayers, sleepless nights, tears from missing him and countdowns we were together as a family! It was freezing cold as we exited the airport because it was winter time in NY; but in my heart it felt like Spring and Summer time all at once; I was beyond happy.

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After spending all day cooking, you would think that my husband would want to eat what I cooked. Instead, he requested for a burger…he wanted an American meal. For the rest of the evening, we were playing catch up; as he and his daughter bonded, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. It was official! She was a Daddy’s girl! A few weeks prior to my husband’s arrival, the youth ministry of the church that I attended before returning to Nigeria invited us to come and be a part of a panel for a Valentine’s Day event that they were hosting. We gladly obliged. When I was single, I always hosted a Valentine’s Day event for the teenage church; I was a teacher and eventually became a leader. It amazed me how I was doing the same thing after marriage; it felt good to be doing it with my husband. I’ve always loved to talk about every LOVE: relationships, marriage, etc.

               Off we went a few days after his arrival, going about our father’s business with our three month old baby. Getting from NY to Maryland was not a walk in the park. We had to pack extra bags because of the baby (it was our first time traveling with a baby); it was extremely cold outside, getting from point A to B was a pain (we were obviously not prepared for the weather); we almost missed our bus, we found ourselves running with luggage and a car seat in tow…it was not fun. The bus ride was smooth over all; our baby was well behaved throughout the trip. When we arrived in Maryland, it took us a while to locate our ride, for some reason we couldn’t seem to find one another. When we eventually located our ride, we were relieved. I couldn’t wait to get into our hotel room, I was exhausted!

               We finally arrived at our hotel room and it was beautiful. We awaited my sister’s arrival as she was to bring us dinner. Dinner took longer than expected and we were hungry but we tried to focus on enjoying the moment; it felt good to be alone (just the three of us). When dinner arrived, we ate so fast! And it was good! Afterwards, we proceeded to make plans for the rest of our stay; we would only be there for the weekend. But we had so many people that we wanted to spend time with us. The next day was also Valentine’s Day! Our first as parents! My sister volunteered to watch our daughter while we went out for lunch. The weekend went so fast, we had lunch together on Valentine’s day, I went to go see a friend in the evening; the next day was church service and then we had the ministration shortly after (which went well); afterwards we were invited to dinner by one of the church members…we could barely eat as we were stuffed from eating all day. The following morning, we were on our way back to NY. And that’s how our journey of doing life and ministry together began in this part of the world. It was indeed a new experience! 

With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


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Thursday, May 17, 2018

Supernatural Woman V: Delivery and Recovery

Source: Google

Hello Everybody!!!

It's been too long, I know *covers eyes*. To all my faithful readers, I am sure that you are tired of the constant apologies for the intermittent breaks. The last couple of months have been extremely busy for me; and things have yet to slow down. I AM SORRY!

I will try to post more frequently...so help me God!

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So where were we? ....Oh yes...the C-SECTION

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As I was being wheeled into the operation room, feelings of jealousy hit me as I heard the cries of babies in nearby delivery rooms; some of their mom's arrived after I did, yet they delivered before I did and they didn't have need a C-section like I did.

I felt like a failure; maybe my faith wasn't strong enough?!?! Maybe I didn't pray hard enough?!?! …But I prayed and made confessions about a NATURAL birth not a C-SECTION! What went wrong???

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In no time, the doors to the operating room flung opened; I was caught off guard by how cold it was! It felt like I was in a freezer! That was enough to get me to refocus; after all, I was about to have a baby! The doctor with the "tiny fingers" was mute and she wore a stern look on her face. No words of encouragement; no compassion...she was just blank. Thankfully the anesthesiologist was the total opposite, with him and my sister cheering me on, I was okay. The procedure was pretty quick. I had no idea of what was going on down there because my view was block by a piece of cloth. Throughout the process, I was grateful to not feel any pain; because I've heard of some traumatic experiences.

In no time, I heard her first cry as the room was filled shouts of ‘congratulations’.  They showed her to me briefly as they had to run some quick tests and take her to the NICU; because they feared that I had an "infection" and they wanted to place her on antibiotics. As I held her briefly, all the feelings of anger, jealousy and disappointment drifted away. Her eyes was so beautiful, I was captivated by her. I couldn't believe that I was her mother. To top it off, she looked absolutely nothing like me; her complexion was significantly lighter than mine, she had chinky eyes and she had fine textured hair. The look on her face seemed to read "Are you happy now?"  It seemed like she wasn't ready to come out of her comfort zone (my womb) just yet.

They quickly took her from me and proceeded to stitch me up as my sister followed my new baby girl. I suddenly felt extremely sleepy; it was a struggle to keep my eyes open. The anesthesiologist kept patting me gently on my shoulder, he kept telling me not to fall asleep. While this was going on, my mom met her first grandchild in the delivery room; she was so overwhelmed with joy that tears began to fall from her eyes. My daughter smiled at her....I saw the proof in the pictures that my sister took.

ALL GLORY TO GOD!!!

*****

Recovery for me wasn't fun; it felt like it was never ending. After delivery, I was extremely tired and weak. I slept on and off for the rest of the day; I was too weak to get out of bed. Even when visitors came, I was barely responsive. I was told that I could not eat anything until I had a bowel movement; well that didn't happen during day 1. I was also unable to see my baby because I was too weak to go and see her in the NICU. I wasn't happy about not being able to do skin-to-skin or breast feed her; she was given formula, and that was not a part of the plan.

I was finally able to have a bowel movement the next day. I also made up my mind to get up and walk. Boy oh boy! It was so painful! I couldn't even stand up straight. And I had to walk around with an IV stand, it was so inconvenient, but it also assisted me with walking. It was annoying to see the mothers that gave birth naturally; they walked around freely and their tummies seemed to have disappeared, while i looked like I was 6 months pregnant. I walked straight to the NICU to see my baby. I was crushed to see her around very sick babies; I knew that she was just fine! She looked absolutely beautiful and peaceful; all the nurses were saying how great she was doing and how she was eating very well. I was so happy to hear that. I proceeded to hold her; I stared at her in amazement. At that moment, all was right in the world. She was worth it; the time spent in labor, the pain, the C-section, etc. didn't matter any longer.

I was then encouraged to breast feed her. I initially thought that it would be a walk in the park...however it was more like a walk in an obstacle course. I could not get her to latch on. I tried and tried and it just didn't work. It went on to be a battle even after I was discharged from the hospital; we tried everything from nipple shields, to different techniques until I eventually gave up. My breast pump and I became the best of friends for the next year; we communicated every three hours. After weeks of trying, I was finally able to sustain a milk supply that was good enough to feed her exclusively; she didn't like formula too much...it gave her lots of gas.

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So back to the hospital, after my initial attempt to breastfeed my daughter failed, I just held her and fed her formula instead. It was a beautiful moment; I stared at her in amazement for most of the time. After my visit with her, I proceeded to make my long trip to my room; the pain was intense! I finally made it back and was famished. I requested for a lunch menu only for the nurse to tell me that I had been placed on a liquid diet; because my blood pressure was fluctuating between being too high and being normal. I literally felt like crying and screaming at the top of my lungs. After coming back to myself, I ordered chicken broth and juice (*rolls eyes*).

My blood pressure kept fluctuating and the doctors wanted to monitor me closely plus my daughter was still in the NICU. So my discharge date was up in the air. I kept praying that everything will normalize so that I could get out of the hospital ASAP. I had the most amazing nurse, she would give me extra supplies: diapers, formula, female items, etc. One day she came to check on me and noticed that I didn't look too happy, she asked if I had eaten and I told her that I was still on a liquid diet. She was the one that advocated for me to be put on a regular diet, and the doctor agreed. She was God-sent!

I was admitted into the hospital on a Tuesday morning, technically after a C-section I should be free to go home three days after delivery. The doctor was reluctant to discharge me even after my daughter was discharged from the NICU (Friday). I was ready to GO!!! I didn't enjoy my time at the hospital, the constant checking of my blood pressure and giving of medications made it hard for me to rest. And when my daughter was placed in my room, I caught a glimpse of mother...feeding every 2 hours, frequent diaper changes, etc. I WANTED MY MOMMY!!!

The doctor finally discharged me on Saturday evening; with instructions to monitor my blood pressure regularly and to return to the hospital in a couple of weeks. FREE AT LAST!!!



Or so I thought....




With lots of love,



- Bunmi Adebiyi


Wait before you go:

1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!

2. Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the 'Follow by email' section located on the right of this post.

4. You can share this post or previous posts by clicking on the respective social media icon on the right.

5. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_

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