My Little Secret

Source: Google

Hello everyone!

Can you believe it is October already??? Wow! Happy OCTOBER to you! My prayer is that God will crown 2016 with GOODNESS for YOU!!!

I took a very long break from sharing my testimony. My apologies, let's continue from where we left off.

If you haven't done so already, click the 'Destiny steps' tab at the top to see previous posts in which I share my personal testimony thus far. For those viewing this on a mobile phone, you'd need to scroll down to the bottom of this page and click "View web version" in order to see and click on the ‘Destiny steps’ tab.

So I finally had confirmation about this man being my husband. I was absolutely sure this time around, without a shadow of a doubt. I tried to invite doubt, but my invitation was rejected. I could not shake the certainty that I felt. This was an unfamiliar feeling to me. I had mixed feelings. You'd think that I'd be ecstatic, but I wasn't. Above many other things, I was afraid.

I was afraid of the unknown. I was afraid about being wrong again. I was afraid about having to tell family and friends. I was afraid of having to start all over. I was afraid of making mistakes and getting heart broken. I was afraid that he wouldn't accept me and my past. I was afraid that I wouldn't be a good pastor's wife. I was afraid of never having a "life" because of the demands of ministry.

His friendliness continued, but there was no suspicious behavior. Apparently, that was his person...he was always happy and smiling. Soon enough, it seemed like he was running away from me. Like I'd see him one second and then he'd speed off the next second. Hmmm...Maybe I was wrong after all.

I was so uncertain about everything. God revealed that he was my husband in October and it was now November. I just broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. Didn't I need time to heal? It went against everything I believed about relationships and breakups. Okay, granted I knew a long time ago that I was in the wrong relationship. And for some reason, I couldn't even be sad or depressed about the breakup. I tried to cry but the tears never came. In the past, I would have been a wreck for weeks. I just had this unshakable peace; I knew that I had made the right decision.

I tried desperately to reach out to my new mentor during this period of uncertainty. But for some reason, our schedules kept clashing. So, I found myself alone in my confusion. I was too afraid to confide in anyone else; I didn't want to be judged.

****

I had finally neared the end of foundation school and it was time for me to take the last two courses with the Pastor in charge. So I set up a date and time with 'Him'. When I got to our meeting place, which was church he seemed to be very busy. He had me waiting for a long time.

Surprisingly while waiting for him, my mentor passed by and as I was greeting her he walked back into the church auditorium. She was on her way out so our greeting was short. However there was a look on her face that lingered on after that day. There was something in her smile.

When it was finally time for our class, he seemed to be very excited. He was smiling for ear to ear. I came straight from work and was a bit hungry, so I wanted to get it over with. During the class, two other pastors passed by and were smiling extra hard. I just knew it! They all knew! He had told them, I was slightly embarrassed, the secret was out!...or so I thought. I later came to find out that they had no idea.

It was a few minutes before our church’s weekly prayer meeting when the class ended. I wanted to dash home but he encouraged me to stay. It was my first time attending the prayer meeting. It actually wasn't too bad. Afterwards, he dropped me off at home. To be sincere, I don't remember the drive home. All that was on my mind was food and sleep!

To be continued...

You're blessed!


- Bunmi


Wait before you go:



1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won't make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the 'Come to Jesus' tab at the top of the page and be saved!


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