Please God, Love People

Something happened a few days ago that rubbed me the wrong way.

It reminded me of a similar incident that took place a few months ago. I did all I can to make someone comfortable and happy. I later found out that she went behind my back to complain about my efforts. I was beyond hurt and disappointed. She later apologized but it took me way too long to get over it. It put me in a terrible state; I harbored unforgiveness and bitterness against her for a long while. That is a big NO! NO! It affected my relationship with her and I regretted it. So I knew better not to allow history to repeat itself.

Now onto what happened the recent incident...

A few weeks ago, someone reached out to me and shared some disheartening news with me. She is someone dear to me, someone that I've shared personal information with. Someone I truly care about. Instantly, I was shocked and at a loss for words. I was sad and felt helpless. I desperately wished that I could turn back the hands of time. But at last, it was beyond me.

I tried my best to encourage the person. I asked how they were feeling...of course, she wasn't feeling good. I just wanted to probe where her mind was at and help as much as I could.

I offered to give a listening ear if she ever needed to talk or vent about the situation. And also added a little prayer. I ended by saying I loved her and would be praying for her.

I didn't get a response, so I decided to give her some space. I reached out a few days afterwards...no response...I tried again a few days after that...still no response.

I've been praying for her daily since then and decided to reach out to her via another mean because I was very concerned; and because I found a resource that might be helpful to her.

I was excited to finally get a response via the other means of communication. However, after opening the message and reading it, I was crushed. It felt like a ton of bricks were thrown in my face. I was told that the previous messages were not responded to intentionally. Imagine my shock! At the end of the day, she was not happy with my response to the bad news.

I apologized, but I could tell that my apology wasn't enough.

After contemplating the issue over and over again, I heard these words in my spirit "Please God, and Love people. Only God can see your heart." Well I didn't want to hear it to be honest. I go above and beyond to be there for people. There is no problem that is shared with me that I do not do all that I can to do in my power to help, including going before the Lord in prayer about until it is resolved.

As a pastor, people come to me with their issues. At times, I have to sacrifice time, energy, resources, etc. to be there for people. It is an honor; I don't take it for granted. The late nights spent counseling people, the early mornings and other odd hours spent praying for others, sacrificing family time...it is a privilege. Wanting to feel appreciated and be to be praised is natural. But I know much better than to live for the praises of people. I choose to cater to an audience of ONE, my one and only father in heaven. 

But my husband hit the nail on the head when I confided in him "Do it for God, not for people." I still wasn't satisfied. My heart was still hurting. Then I remembered a blog post that I read yesterday by Funto Ibuoye on the Beautified Blog. She spoke about intimacy with Holy Spirit. She mentioned a scenario in which she was looking to her husband for affirmation but didn't get it. So she decided to look to the Holy Spirit instead. I followed suit and prayed for help to get over the incident. And after a short while, I felt at peace and made a conscious effort to get over it.

.

To be sincere, if I had my way I'd live in my own world, on a private island far away from people. Naturally, I'm a loner...an introvert.  I've been hurt by so many people in the past, and I can get very defensive with my heart subconsciously.

But I've learned that relationships are vital and that I can't allow the past hurts to affect me. Relationships are bridges that can either take you to your destination or derail you.  Relationships are necessary. In relationships, you get what you give.  I've come to love people truly and discovered that everyone is unique; we have to learn how to love each person the way they need to be loved.

My pastor told me these words a few months ago. He said "Some people were created to live for others." I instantly discovered that I was one of those people.  Love puts other's before one's self. So I do all that I can to make sure that I impact lives and bless people. So my advice to you is to aim to be a blessing to people, not please them.

I've discovered that one of the keys to living a successful life is to live above one's feelings. Purpose is greater than pain. I cannot allow my feelings to get in the way of fulfilling my purpose. Feelings are temporary, they are fleeting, and they are conditional. Feelings can cripple, feelings can blind, and feelings can bind.

But I choose to be free. Love sets free. Love always wins. I choose to please God because he's the only one that knows the true me. I work for him, I live for him, and I am alive because of him. I owe him my all.

So, instead of being offended and hurt. I've made up my mind to love her and continue to pray for her. She's hurting, what she's going through is painful; it is something that you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy. Obviously she confided in me because she desired some sort of comfort. I still feel terrible for not being able to provide this comfort; but I refuse to beat myself up. It is only the Holy Spirit that and give true comfort, he is the ultimate comforter.

Even if she decides to never talk to me again and continues to push me away, I will still love her. I will love her from a distance. My prayers will reach her and that's the most important thing. I want her to be whole and at peace, so I'm willing to get out of my feelings and live above them. There are more important things to focus on.

***

I write this blog post today because I want everyone to know, that it is possible to be in control of one's feelings. I don't need sympathy or a pat on the back. I am a work in progress and I need God's help every second, minute, hour, day, month, year, and so on. So I pride myself on yield to the Holy Spirit and allowing him to mold me and shape me daily. I will fall, I will make mistakes, I will miss it along the way...but still I rise! still I shine! Because Christ is me, glory is inevitable! 

Offenses will always come...but you don't have to take them! So be prepared, people will hurt you, they will disappoint you, lie to you, talk behind your back, cheat you, steal from you, etc. But make up your mind before it occurs to not allow those things to get the best of you. Forgive in advance and protect your heart.

In past, I was ruled by my feelings. It was a terrible way of living. I died daily because of what people said to me, thought about me and did against me. I was overwhelmed with being a people pleaser. I just wanted everyone to like. It was daunting and unsuccessful.

When you get busy with building your relationship with God and with what he has created you to do, people will automatically be attracted to you. You cannot please everyone, but you can love everyone. You can only please God, so focus on doing just that!




You're blessed!


- Bunmi


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