Hello Everyone!
Thanks for stopping by today! This testimony will bless you!
Sade sent in her testimony and few weeks ago and I was overwhelmed. Her testimony reconfirmed that God is a God of multiple choices! We may make mistakes or may be forced to make decisions against our will, but God is more than able turn it all around! This testimony reminds me that God truly loves us and wants us to have his very best. Please enjoy this testimony and be blessed!
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| Source: Google |
It
was December 2005 when I became friends with a guy who was going to form a
large part of my life’s story. I met Bosun through a friend who lived in my
estate back in Nigeria. Bosun and I became friends and he quickly won my mum’s
heart. She thought he was very responsible and desired to have him closer.
Somehow, we got in an assumed relationship. We continued our assumed
relationship which seemed okay at the time because I was that church girl who
really didn’t invest in relationships. So our assumed relationship was as blank
as could be and it seemed okay. Well, until I met Fola who happened to be one
of my National leaders at my Christian organization in December 2006. I was
also a chapter leader at the time and so Fola and I always met at leaders’
meetings and so on. At the time, we could not become official until our
leadership term was over. Fola and I grew so fond of each other and I seemed to
forget my assumed relationship with Bosun each time I was in Fola’s company.
Reality
hit when Bosun went as far as submitting my name for the US visa lottery and my
name got randomly selected. Everyone who knows about this lottery understands
that a US is considered a golden ticket in many parts of the world. My mum went
from loving Bosun to being indebted to him. He knew this and figured it was
time to present his marriage proposal to my parents. My dad had just returned
from his long stay in the UK and got all the background information he needed
about Bosun from my mum who obviously sang his praises. I had just returned
from work when my dad said to me, “You will be getting married before traveling
to the US.” To say I was shocked by this news was an understatement! Bosun
could have discussed this with me first and allowed me decide whether or not I
wanted to spend my life with him. But it seems he also realized my mum felt
indebted to him so he did not anticipate any objection from her; my choice
would be easy. I was that child who hardly ever questioned my parents’
decisions and I also knew my mum felt indebted to Bosun so I could never find
the courage to object the decision even after countless rehearsals on how to
object. Fola and I were right outside the church when someone walked up to me
and congratulated me for getting ready to be married. We were still not
official and I did not think I owed him details of how my life was taking a
turn less than I desired. So I walked away and avoided the explanation while I
broke down in tears as I got on the next bus back home. Fola had so many
questions but left town since I was not offering an explanation.
I
convinced myself that I would grow to love Bosun as time went on in the
marriage. By the time I realized how far the craziness had gone, Bosun and I
were married. We got married a couple of weeks before my relocation to the US,
of which I struggled with this reality and considered even submitting my body
to him as a defilement of my body. My heart was distraught and I tried daily to
understand what was really going on.
After
relocating to the US, it only got worse as most of our conversations were
centered around submitting papers for Bosun’s immigration to the US. We had not
really developed an emotional connection so there was usually nothing to talk
about over the phone. 3 years went by and I was still struggling with a
decision I could have spoken up against in the beginning. Bosun and I never
grew close; we were married strangers and while I felt he wasn’t doing so much
to earn my love as his wife, I honestly felt he offered the best he knew how
to. Unfortunately, his best could not mend my seemingly shattered life. I had
lived in a shadow of my own life for 3 years and I spent many times feeling
incompetent about my position as a wife while other times, I felt God let me
take the wrong turn in life, and then left me to deal with my own mistake.
I
lived broken and bitter for so long and buried myself in church activities as a
way of escape from my miserable life. Everyone who knows the Nigerian culture
understands that divorce creates a stigma plus I could not bring myself to make
that decision. So by mid-2011, I had started consider suicide or eloping to a
new place where I would just change my identity as I prayed to God for a way through
this misery. I had developed really bad health problems that resulted mostly
from depression. I battled with Cluster headaches and high blood pressure; my
friends could not understand what was happening to me because I hid my problems
from them. I also ended up in very bad car accidents as a result of being so
absent minded on the road and just wallowing in my worries. I did not know how
God would save me from all the craziness but during this period,
I
would hear God’s comforting words sometimes of which He said to me one night
while driving home from work, “I allowed all these happen as a way to preserve
you. However, He did not say what He was preserving me from; this was the last
I heard from Him, for about a year. By early 2012, I had had a full cup of
everything; this was after I visited home in Nigeria and Bosun decided it was
time to inform my mum of my refusal to give my body to him even after 3 years
of marriage. Somewhere in that conversation, I threatened I was going to kill
myself instead of letting him come any close to me. By the time I made it back
to the US, my blood pressure problems had started again and at this point, I
really had to decide.
I
knew suicide wasn’t God’s will for me and I was really worried about how my
parents would take the news of my disappearance if I ever went with that
option. My last option was to ask for a divorce which I disagreed so much with
but then, I felt convicted it was the right thing to do with me being at the
point of taking my own life and after experiencing all my health problems. This
was a tough step for me as I did not have the courage to tell my parents over
the phone; I sent my dad a text message and explained what had been going on to
him. I had already called my marriage counselor and informed him of my decision
and he went ahead and called Bosun to inform him of my decision.
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| Source: Google |
This
was the beginning of another tough phase for me as my mum refused to accept my
decision and insisted I work it out with Bosun. My dad on the other hand was
very apologetic for not asking to confirm I wanted the marriage to Bosun. He
called to say he would support whatever my decision was. I also informed my
Christian leaders about my decision and explained what was going on; this was
one I also dreaded but to my surprise, I did not receive any objections from
them. Bosun’s family got real worried I would pull off from processing his
immigration since asking for a divorce but that was not my plan and I assured
them I would stick with the plan on that end. Bosun moved on the same year and
got married about a year later with a son.
Months
went by and I started to get some relief from the consequences of my bold
decision. In July 2012, I reached out to Fola who had made several attempts to
move on, one of which I was aware because the lady was my friend and she told
me. Fola and I had not been in touch because I couldn’t keep up being friends
considering what we shared in the past. I wanted to catch up with him but never
imagined in my wildest dreams that Fola would have still wanted to be with me.
I also reached the point in my life when a relationship or another marriage was
the last thing on my mind. I had been broken and needed to recuperate from all
the madness. So I did not want to go the relationship route with anyone. In
fact, most of my male friends thought I built a wall against men. I just was
not ready and so when Fola re-expressed his interest in a relationship with me
after we had been chatting for a while, I freaked out and avoided him. I told
him I didn’t want a relationship with him; I even explained that I was talking
to someone else because it was just too much drama being with him. This was
because he was the same one I always loved and felt bringing him back in the
picture would raise questions.
Around
the same time in 2013 when I felt he should have gotten over me, at least after
knowing that I was seeing someone. Contrary to my expectations, Fola still
wanted to be with me and after talking for a few months, he had me talk to his
mum over the phone who I thought was so unreal in the way she calmly spoke to
me, after knowing how I left years ago and how I left again in 2012. So I
freaked out again and asked him to never contact me again. I couldn’t deal with
the drama but by June 2014, my spiritual father who also happened to be Fola’s
spiritual dad called me about a conversation between them and how fola insisted
he would wait for me to get comfortable about marrying him, unless I went ahead
and married someone else. My spiritual dad asked if I would marry Fola if all
the drama was not involved and without hesitation, I said I would absolutely
marry him. Fola set the standard for me years ago and he was my consistent
prayer for a husband. He knew how to shed light into my thoughts and dreams in
life and he consistently challenged me to be better. He had a sense of
direction and I knew life would be fulfilling with him, so why not!? My
spiritual dad urged me to please reach out and really hear him out whenever I
planned to visit the country next.
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| Source: Google |
I
visited and there I was as this man poured out his heart. I wondered how God
could take me through the crazy route only to lead me to the point of finally
realizing that Fola was my blessing and restoration. God turned my misery into
joy; He restored my broken life! Of course, we had to deal with all the side
talks and rumors but Fola was bent on going through with his decision to be
with me. I just knew I was blessed with my own, in spite of! Fola and I got
married December 2015, 9 years after our first meeting.
I
finally understood what God was preserving me for. He preserved me for my
marriage to Fola. It happened with lots of bad experiences but I remain
thankful that God chose this path to mold me and make me into the woman He
destined me to be. God beautified my broken life within a year and I have
absolutely no regrets.
I truly hope that you were blessed and encouraged by this testimony. No matter what your case may be, remember that God has a perfect plan for your life. Trust him and he will lead you through it!
Has God gotten you through a rough patch? Would you like to share your testimony also? We'd love to share in your joy! Email us: destinationdestiny7@gmail.com.
You're blessed!
- Bunmi
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