Settling Down

My uncle couldn't send a driver to pick me up from Ife, so I had to take a cab back to Lagos. Anyone that is familiar with the public transportation system in Nigeria, knows that it is a huge risk. Many of the drivers are reckless and many drive under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Taking public transportation is a step of faith. I was nervous; thankfully a friend that I met at camp met up with me in Ife (he was posted to another town) and we traveled back together. He made sure that I made it home safely, thank God for him!

During my time in Lagos, I tried to recuperate from camp and mentally prepare for my stay in Ife. I came back from camp a few pounds lighter and about three shades darker. I need to detox and nourish myself back to normal. I was glad to be apart of "civilization" again. It was good to eat home-cooked food and a comfy bed to sleep on at night. It felt great to be free to go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. However, I just wanted to sleep and relax for the most part. 

Remember Raymond? Well during camp, communication was inconsistent; particularly because the phone service (network) at camp was horrible. We mostly sent text messages and that was once in a while. Needless to say, after camp I really wasn't 'feeling the boy'. But I was still delusional and believed that he was God's best for me. He claimed to be extremely busy with work so I hardly saw him during the break. He promised to go back with me to Ife, but informed me about two days before I returned that he couldn't make it because of work. Well, I did not hold my tongue...I let him have it. I told him how disappointed I was in him. He pleaded with me and told me that he was getting a lot of pressure from work. I didn't understand it and I was highly upset.

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Before you knew it, it was time to go back to Ife. I left Lagos with a lot of mixed emotions; I had no idea how it would all unfold. I sucked it all up and focused on the journey ahead. Also I was not happy that I had to travel by myself, I prayed throughout the trip. My cousin had a friend in Ife, she was a doctor and she was doing a mandatory internship (house job) at the teaching hospital there. My cousin asked her if I could stay with her until I got my own place. She agreed and she picked me up once I arrived in Ife. She was a 'big girl' (priviledged), she drove a nice car and she is from a wealthy family. 

When we got to her place, I was shocked because it was extremely small. She also had a flat mate. I felt like I was intruding on her privacy after a while, it felt like the space was too small for the both of us. She was extremely nice, we got along well. But there were so many factors that made staying with her uncomfortable. Getting to work from her place was stressful, it was far. Getting to church was also difficult. I still kept in touch with Karen and she said that I was welcomed to stay with her if I wanted to.

To be honest, I was not used to staying with other people. I had always been independent, after graduating college I lived on my own until I started graduate school and had to move in with my sister and cousin. I felt like I was being an inconvenience. After weighing the pros and cons, I decided to go back to Karen's place. Plus Karen was going through something and I wanted to be there for her.

During my time at Karen's place I got introduced to one of the pastor's at the church that Karen attended (the same church that connected us together). Let's call him Pastor Tee. Pastor Tee was extremely nice to me, he was full with lots of energy and he was very caring. I knew that he was married and that his wife was pregnant so I crossed off any ulterior motives. He was genuinely nice. He made my stay in Ife better. One day he asked me if I'd be joining the church, I told him that I had to pray about it. After the experience that I had with the church I attended as a child, I was very selective with where I worshipped. 

I attended a wonderful church in Maryland (Jesus House, DC) before relocating to Nigeria. Attending Jesus House, DC (JHDC) changed my life for the better and I needed a church that would do the same. I made up my mind that I'd attended a Redeemed Christian Church of God, since JHDC was one of the parishes under this denomination. But God had other plans. I attended church with Karen but I didn't really focus, my mind was boggled with where I'd live and why I was in Ife in the first place. But I must say that I loved the people!!! Everyone was so NICE and friendly!!! 

While talking to my grandmother on the phone one day, she asked what church I'd be attending. I informed her about my plans and she said, "Bunmi, why don't you attend this church. These people have been taken such good care of you. You can return to rccg when you go back to America."  I agreed with my grandmother and became more focused at church. I decided to become a member, I had to attend foundation school to become a volunteer at church but I put it off for some time. Pastor Tee kept encouraging me along with the tall and beautiful lady (remember her?) that picked me up from the NYSC office that fateful day. She was also instrumental in my getting acquainted at church.

I stayed with Karen for about two months. She was the best host ever! She would cook for me, iron my clothes, and heat up my bath water. She was just too sweet. She was a student but she never asked me to contribute to the groceries. She ensured that I was comfortable. We instantly became very close. I found myself opening up to her about past hurts from relationships, etc. I tried as much as possible to console her because she was recovering from a breakup. 

Karen was and still is God sent; if she didn't treat me so well, I probably wouldn't have stayed at church. I probably wouldn't have stayed in Ife. We had a lot the same interests; she became a sister to me. I felt like we both can relate on various things: fashion, relationships, church, education, etc. She made me feel at home.

After sometime, I started the hunt for my own place. Pastor Tee was so helpful; he'd drive me around to check out various places. He wouldn't let me settle for anywhere. He wanted me to be safe and comfortable. Most of the places that we viewed were horrible, but eventually I found somewhere that was manageable. It was a bit pricey but I needed to be comfortable, thank God for my parents they sent me the money. In no time I had my own space!!! It was very small but you can't put a price on independence!

To be continued....

You're blessed!


- Bunmi


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