Something New...

 The break wasn't easy on me. I had a lot of emotional turmoil. I knew that I made the right decision but I didn't want to have to start over again. Everyone that knew me, knew that I was in a committed relationship with him. It was my first serious relationship. Most of  all, I always wanted to marry the man that I became intimate with. I felt empty and ashamed. 

However those feelings didn't last long. Shortly after the breakup I reconnected with a guy that I met through his sister (we'll call her Rachael). Rachael and I attended the same university and became friends. There was a particular time that I was feeling lonely, because myself Amanda, Lisa and Jennifer had a falling out (I can't remember how or why). So out of extreme boredom I sent a message to Rachael on Facebook saying that I was bored and that we should hangout. She replied and said that she usually had to hang out with her brother to have fun because her dad was so strict. In a consecutive message Racheal said that she told her brother about me and that we would definitely hangout soon.

Well he added me on hi5 (anyone remember that?) a few days later. We sent a few messages to each, just exchanging pleasantries and that was it. I never heard from him again. 

One day the Howard University African Student Association (ASA) threw a party. Rachael and I agreed to meet up there. She came with her brother, I finally met him in person. But I was instantly turned off because he was unfriendly and acting arrogantly. He stood in front of his car with dark sunglasses (mind you it was night time), a tshirt and loose fitting jeans. He was going on and on about hating Nigerian parties and said that he was leaving for a club instead. He acted like he was too good to mingle with Nigerians, in my head I was wondering why he came in the first place. Shortly after his ranting he left, Racheal and I stayed and had a great time.

A few weeks after he sent me a message on hi5 saying that he got into an accident and was going for physical therapy. About a week later I sent him a message to check on him and he was surprised and thanked me. Amanda's then boyfriend and now husband had a birthday party a few days later, it was also my cousin/roommate's birthday. So we were very excited, she invited her two friends to join us for the party.

Anyone that knew me back then knows that I loved to dance at parties, so I danced all night. Periodically different guys approached me and tried to dance with me but I'd decline each time. Rachael's  brother also approached me that night, I hadn't seen him earlier. Right when I was about to diss him, he said "wait...wait, it's me! Rachael's brother" I turned to face him and greeted him with a smile, we then exchanged numbers and that was it for the night.

As if he knew, he called me a few days after the breakup. We spoke all night long! He even asked me to marry him jokingly after I told him that I was applying to Physical Therapy school . I enjoyed our conversation, it kept me from crying my eyes out and thinking whether I did the right thing by breaking up with the ex. Our phone calls became more regular and then they led to us hanging out. He was there to console me and I felt comfortable with him.

About three weeks after the breakup with my ex, Rachael's brother (let's call him Daniel) asked me to be his girl. Without thinking I said "yes" he had a shocked look on his face. He later told me that he didn't expect me to say yes right away, he thought we'd play a little game called 'hard to get'. I don't know why I said yes, it wasn't a wise idea since I just got out a relationship. But I really enjoyed his company.

Our relationship lasted for about 3 years. My mom loved him, his mom loved me and we knew each other's family and friends.. I thought that I had reached my final bus stop...I wanted to 'die there'...Lol. Even when it was obvious that we had some major issues...my low self esteem told me that he was the best for me and I had to endure.

Daniel and I did everything together, we were inseparable. People used to always say that we were such a cute couple. From the outside we were picture perfect, but behind closed doors our issues were suffocating us both.

You're Blessed!

-Bunmi

Oh How I LOVE the name JESUS!

And I will do whatever you ask for in my name, so that the Father's glory will be shown through the Son. If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it. (John 14:13-14 GNT)

It was a cold Sunday morning in January. I was on my way home with my sister, cousin, and friend from a church prayer retreat. I was exhausted and I had about a two hour drive. I slipped in a CD, and about twenty minutes into the drive I woke up to the car spinning on the highway. All I could do was shout "Jesus". A few minutes later, we landed on the right shoulder of the highway with no damages to ourselves or the car.

What happened?: I had fallen asleep behind the wheel, when I woke up the car was skidding on black ice and I instantly stomped on the brakes (big mistake). After I whispered "Jesus" a few times, I felt the car being lifted in the air from the left lane of the highway and being gently placed down on the right shoulder. What saved us??? It was the name of Jesus!!!

There is power in the name of Jesus. Real power, absolute, miracle working power (Mark 16:17-18).

You won't benefit from this power if you are not fully aware of its potency.

There's nothing that can override the power embedded in the name of Jesus. In this name lies access to three realms: Heaven, earth, and hell (Philippians 2:9-11).

The believer is given this name to function authoritatively. The name of Jesus is our birthright. The name of Jesus spoken from our lips bring him to center stage. He takes the spotlight and addresses the situation as we speak his name. Whether it's healing, safety, financial provision, family issues, etc.

Jesus was given the name above all the names, all the power that exists belongs to him (Matthew 28:18). We were given the permission to make demands with this name. So what's stopping you? Don't be ignorant of what you've been given. It's a powerful tool that nothing can't resist. Use the name of Jesus today! Speak to your situation or circumstance in the name of Jesus. As you speak, whatever does not glorify God in your life must bow. 

There's power in the name of Jesus!!!

Confession: Father, thank you for the authority that I've been given in the name of Jesus. I declare that I believe in the wonder working power of the name of Jesus. Amen.

Prayer starter: In the name of Jesus, I speak to every situation that does not glorify God ---mention here--- in my life. I declare that you will begin to prosper according to the perfect Will of God. Amen

You're blessed!

- Bunmi

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Why is it so hard?

To live this Christian life... 

At times I don't feel like forgiving...why do I have to be the "bigger person" and apologize for something that wasn't my fault?
So what if I told a lie, it was a little white one...I did it because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
My boss asked me to complete a task and I kinda "fake it"....googled-copied-pasted-it...I was just trying to meet a dead line.
I just want to have fun, I'm still young...a little drinking here and clubbing there isn't bad...I'll change when I'm ready to get married.
Yea I know he has a girlfriend but I think he's cute...a little flirting won't hurt nobody.
Yea I kissed her and touched places on her body that I can't mention...she's a virgin and she wants to wait until marriage but I gotta at least take a sneak peek of the contents package...

Sinning is a choice

It wasn't a choice when you weren't a Christian because it was what came naturally to you

However when you accepted the life of Christ, you died to sin (Romans 6:11)

Stop digging up empty graves...there's no "life" there.

Being a Christian is not hard

Yes you'll have to make some adjustments...yes old habits take time to change

Yes you still have the same ungodly desires

Yes you want to be free and enjoy your life

And yes it's a process, but you dictate the pace

The longer you fondle with sin, the deeper you fall

The harder it'll be to come back up

Then the cycle continues...take three steps forwards -living right, loving up on Jesus...and then that same old sin gets you again and you fall eight steps back

That sin which easily begets you (Hebrews 12:1), you have to stay away from it...avoid it at all cost; because if you continue in it, it can cost you all

Joseph didn't flee from Potiphar's wife because he had EDD, he fled because he wasn't ready to give up his big dreams...for a few moments of pleasure

You dreams are worth living for...they're worth chasing after...that's Godly dreams to be precise

Christ came and gave you the easy way out (2 Corinthians 11:3), Christianity is simpler than you

Yeah you may be thinking "easier said then done", I'm not judging you...I've been there too...in fact I was stuck in my ways for many years...making excuses for why I couldn't live right

The devil had me fooled, he told me Christianity was too hard...he said I'll never make the mark

But now I laugh, I laugh because I'm truly free now, I laugh because I know the truth, I laugh because I don't have to live this life with my own strength, I laugh because I've been endowed with power from on high and as Christ is in heaven so I am on earth

I am dead to sin! 

And I'm ALIVE to Christ!!!!

Sin can no longer control me (Romans 6:14), because I'm the boss now...I'm grace made

Wondering how I got to this place?.... I let go of the wheel and let Jesus drive

I laid hold on the Word of God and allowed it to change my mindset (1 Timothy 6:12), I allowed it to wash me, to transform me (Romans 12:2)

And then I shut out the voice of the devil with this same word...I told him to shut up and have several seats, he's not the boss of me!!!

Be free, live the life Jesus came to give...believe the Word

The greatest power lies within...activate it...choose life...it's not hard

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You're blessed!

-Bunmi

Broken

The memory used to haunt me...It used to overwhelm me with guilt and shame. I used to be filled with so much turmoil as I had flashbacks of that cold winter evening. I went home feeling dejected. I cried my eyes out while on the phone with a close friend as he failed at trying to console me. What had I done? Peer pressure had gotten the best of me. To top it off, it wasn't like in the romance novels nor like what people raved about. It was just there, I didn't feel anything...I was numb...I wanted it to be over before it started.


I knew it was wrong but society, movies, the media, and friends were saying it was right. My conscious was a mess. I felt ashamed when in God's presence and feared that lightening would strike me at any second. Then the other issues started to taunt me, I felt like I was living a double life. I was so sweet, quiet and innocent on the outside yet inwardly I was distraught...constantly fighting what seemed like a never ending battle.

I did it! No, I didn't loose my virginity like most people say...I gave it up...

*******

How It All Began:

The first time I was introduces to the topic of sex was in Elementary school(Primary School). The school's counselor came into our classroom and spoke about inappropriate behaviors to us. She described inappropriate ways to be touched by the opposite sex and encouraged us to report it to someone if we ever had such an experience. I never had such experience, so I didn't pay much attention the talk.

During Junior High School (JSS), sex was re-introduced to me as 'exciting and fun' by my peers. These were days when puberty began and hormones were raging. It became interesting because everyone talked about it...from the geeks to the popular folks. Some were bold and outspoken about it, while others discussed it in hush tones or daydream about it in the head. I did the later.

And in the free society that I grew up in, it was everywhere on TV, in books, magazines, on the internet, etc. But the whole thing was still vague, all I knew was that my parents asked my siblings and I to closed our eyes during the 'kissing' portions of the movies/shows we watched.

One day I went over to a family friend's house, her parents just got cable television that had ALL the channels. Out of excitement and curiosity, we flipped through every channel and saw people in 'the act', we were all curious and watched it briefly until the fear of being caught forced us to turn it off. This opened the door to various experiences in my life. 

It didn't help that I was a loner while growing up, I enjoyed my own company. I was too shy, I didn't like social gatherings. I usually stayed in my room and read romance novels or daydreamed about a fairytale life.

After a while, my mind was overwhelmed with lustful thoughts. I was so curious about this thing called SEX. Why was everyone so excited about it? What was so special about it? Why was everyone in a hurry to do it?

One day while snooping around, I found a DVD. It was a pornographic movie. I had a television in my room, I popped it in. From that day forth, I found myself hooked. I would hide it and bring it out during times when I knew everyone at home were asleep or away. Every time I watched it, I felt really really bad. No matter how hard I tried to stop watching it, a strong urge will come upon me and I couldn't control myself. It got worse as I turned to the internet to satisfy the urge. 

Yes I was addicted. In the midst of it all, masturbation also came into the picture. All of this is what led to that cold winter evening, when I paid for a motel room because he didn't have any money and gave it up.

The story continues...

You're blessed!

- Bunmi

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Give Love, Give Life

1 John 4:8-16King James Version (KJV)

8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.

13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.

14 And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.

15 Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.

16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

Love is the substance of life, we are all here on Earth as the result of an act of love. Love created man (human beings), no other being could have phantomed every intrinsic detail of man. From every cell, tissue, and organ to each strand of hair on man's head down to each toe nail; each fiber of man's being is laced with love. 

I caught the glimpse of this after giving birth to my daughter a few months ago. I remember the first ultrasound that I had while 6 weeks pregnant, all I saw was a glimpse of her limbs attached to her tiny body. I marveled as she began to develop and form in my womb without affecting any other part of my body. I was amazed at how my body automatically adjusted to accommodate my growing baby. And on the day of her birth, I was taken aback! She was indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. Every inch of her was perfect. I couldn't have done this alone, even in my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined this great gift.

Man is indeed love's idea, he's love's greatest creation (Genesis 1:26-28). Even when man gave up his power to the enemy, Love didn't give up on him. Love produced a better and more superior life than before (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Love is the very essence life, love always gives, love is God's gift to the world. A life without love is a life not worth living. We minister life to others by showcasing the love of God to them (1 John 3:14). Love is always the truth, love is always the way, because love is life (John 14:6). 

When love gave his greatest gift for mankind, he requested one thing from us. He gave us his all and he expects us to reciprocate what we've received. Jesus asked us to love God and others (Matthew 22:36-40), the good news is that we don't have to do it in our own strength. Love dwells in us, it's been disperse in our hearts (Romans 5:5). All you have to do is turn on the switch and aim to always choose love. Even when someone pisses you off or when someone hurts you...when someone disrespects you...when someone takes advantage of you...when someone cuts you off while driving...when someone rips you off...choose LOVE. Don't get me wrong you have a right to be upset or feel sad, your feelings are not wrong. It's how you deal with them that determines whether they're right or wrong.

You can never go wrong with love. Even the hardest heart can be soften with love. Make the world a better place, walk in love towards all men and give life. 

Confession: Father I thank you for the your love that you've placed in my heart, I choose to give it to all people, therefore showcasing your life. I live above my feelings and decide to always choose love in every situation in Jesus' name. Amen.

Prayer starter: Father I come to you today asking for the wisdom and grace to love people that seem difficult and to truly forgive those that have hurt me. Today I release ---name person--- today and choose to love him and her instead. In Jesus' name. Amen

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You're blessed!

Bunmi Adebiyi

Should I or Should I not?

The summer before I started HU, I met a guy. 

At my house, we always made an excuse to celebrate. We would cook lots of food, blast music, and call people to join us. I'm not sure what we were celebrating on this particular day but he came over with one of his friends who was a family friend and lived in the neighborhood. 

He was really cool, had a good personality and had everyone laughing...my mom even mentioned that he seemed like a nice guy that day. I didn't think much of him...in fact I didn't think much of any guy because I never got over my "ex" Emmanuel, for some reason I thought he was my "first love"...isn't it interesting how your perspective changes when you get older and mature? Hmmm...thank God for Jesus.

So back to this guy...I'd see him more often in the neighborhood because he'd come visit his friend, somehow he started liking me and the toasting began. I wasn't interested at all, he was far from my type and he was a JJC (Johnny Just Come, he recently came from Nigeria). I didn't like the way he dressed or spoke, etc. 

Shortly after, I started a job not too far from his house, so he'd get up every morning and walk with me to work. I felt a bit stalked but he was nice, so I indulged him. I really can't say how or when it happened but we started a relationship. I dunno if he used jazz (voodoo)...lol, or if it was his persistence, or the fact that I felt sorry for him because he was a really nice guy, or if it was because I was lonely...it just happened. 

He was the first Nigerian guy that I dated and the first guy that I introduced to my family, so I considered him to be my first official boyfriend. My mom didn't like him at all, and she made it very obvious (Remember she thought he was nice?...until he became my boyfriend). My dad being who he is accepted him with open arms. And my siblings kindly just went with the flow. I met his family also, they were very nice to me.

Our relationship lasted for a year and eight months. I really don't know how to explain what we had...we both were young (I was 18 and he 20) and naive. When he was about to turn 21, he started requesting something from me that was way too costly...it kept me up at night...I was confused and scared. Some of my friends were on his side...I heard things like "Girrrlllll, If you want to keep your man, you better do it!" But my bible and morals said otherwise, the pressure was mounting by the day. 

Then I began to look around me and wondered if it was really that bad afterall? I mean, everyone seemed to be doing it...even the "holy church going people" and they seemed fine...what to do???

To be continued....

You're Blessed!

- Bunmi

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